Why It Feels Like You Can Never Get Rid Of The Cancer You Dated Years Ago

by Rosey Baker
Stocksy / Aaron Belford Inc

Picture how it feels to slide into a hot bubble bath, surrounded by candles, listening to your favorite podcast. Now picture the moment that hot water runs out, and you realize you're just bathing in a sad dirty soup and can't wait to get out. That's what it's like when your relationship with a Cancer dies. The only difference is when you decide to get out of your bath, it doesn't grab onto your legs and beg you to give it another chance. It's tough to know how to break up with a Cancer male, especially when it feels like they make it next to impossible. It's almost like breaking up with these guys requires a mapped out escape plan, because they will stick. like. glue.

So much for the phrase "If you love someone, let them go." Maybe your Cancer guy just read it wrong. Maybe he read it as "If you love someone, SWALLOW THEM WHOLE." Common mistake, right?

Step One: Change Things Up

Cancer men are a cardinal sign, meaning they like things done a certain way. They have a routine they feel safe in, and their significant other is a major part of that routine. The more unreliable you are, the less they'll feel comfortable in the relationship.

Because Cancers are so moody (their moods are like the tides, as they're ruled by the moon), they need a partner who provides them a stable base to ground themselves on. I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy being the one person people depend on to keep their feet on the ground. It's enough responsibility just trying to keep myself grounded on this crazy marble we call Earth.

Step Two: Rearrange Their Home

Cancers are ruled by the fourth house of home and family, and nearest to their heart is the oasis they call home. You might say, "WAIT. But my boyfriend lives in a sh*thole, that's part of why I'm leaving him!" To that I will tell you: Even if he lives in a storage unit, he'll be very particular about where he lives. A Cancer guy's sense of emotional stability is tied to his home.

Test out this theory (and the strength of your relationship) by rearranging his things without talking to him about it first. Or, if your apartment is nicer than his, try letting him know you don't want to stay there as much, that you'd rather stay in his garbage bag of a home.

He might just move on to your roommate, and then he's her problem!

Ignore His Feelings

Cancer is a water sign, making them extremely sensitive and also not great at parties. Just kidding, if there is one thing water signs can do right, it's hit up the bar. In all seriousness though, you need to understand that any perceived slight to a Cancer male will not go unnoticed. If he calls to tell you he misses you, and you wait a full day to respond, he'll get the message.

Feel like an a**hole yet? Well, I'm just trying to give you a way to make him break up with you, because GOD ONLY KNOWS he won't allow you to break up with him without flooding your apartment with his teardrops.

Be Direct and Cut Him Off

I dont like playing the bad guy any more than you probably do, but at the end of the day you just gotta know when to shake a dude, and this is one guy who will not make it easy. People lose their minds when they get dumped, so take some precautions here; it might feel immature, but go ahead and block him on all forms of social media (because he will absolutely stalk you on them) and let your Cancer dude know that as sweet as he is, you're over it.

Be direct, be harsh if you have to, but let him know in no uncertain terms that you're ready for him to GET. LOST. He will try to convince you he will do anything to keep you, that he'll be lost without you, but that's his problem. You gotta look out for number one, and if you're over it, you're over it.