I'm going to name my least favorite things about Feb. 14, so buckle up. Presenting Kimmy's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, Valentine's Day gripes: It's cold where I live. People in couples holding hands give single me "I'm sorry" eyes or maybe they don't, but it feels that way. Even if I am happy in the rest of my life, if I am single on V-Day, I feel a little lonely and "less than" inside. Can you skip Valentine's Day? If so, my hand is raised as a willing participant.
I do not have a boyfriend and will definitely not have one by Feb. 14, but I am not without options this Valentine's Day. (Tease!) Without stating too much, there's a chance I might have plans with a particular someone, but I'm also trying to go on a lot of dates right now (51, in fact, for a podcast). All of this nonsense I've put myself up to means that Valentine's Day gets a bit hairy. A V-Day date kinda suggests that you're getting capital-S Serious. But honestly, I feel that if Wednesday, Feb. 14 happens to be the most convenient date for you and some cutie to go out, you should go for it. It's just another day.
Last year, I was very casually seeing someone who asked me when I could hang out during the week of Valentine's Day. Of course, he didn't say, "When can you hang out with me this Valentine's Day week?" but instead something more like "What's your week like?" I said something like "Well, can't do Tuesday... [insert vaguely clever and somewhat bashful emoji here]" to which he replied, "Why?" He had completely forgotten about Valentine's Day, and we honestly could have both hung out on Tuesday and skipped it together had I kept my mouth shut.
This year, I feel that my best bet is to make zero plans with zero people, hole up in my bedroom, and pump the Netflix (and the wine). Or maybe I'll chill with my friends or take myself to a bar.
True story: one Valentine's Day, my friend got baby high, took herself to dinner, and Jennifer Lawrence and a pre-problematic Aziz Ansari sat down the bar from her on a non-date. Skippity do dah! If you, like me, wish you could gloss over this non-holiday, here's how to do it.
1. Take Tylenol PM At 6 PM
Sleep is healthy, right!? Skip the evening by getting an enormous night's sleep.
2. Do Your Laundry
Because that's a responsible, adult thing to do a normal Wednesday, and Feb. 14 is a normal Wednesday, remember?
3. Go On A Mini Vacay
Assuming you can casually take Wednesday off from work, fly somewhere where they don't celebrate Valentine's Day, and make it back by Thursday. In a pinch, the middle of the woods somewhere will do nicely.
4. Go Hang Out At An Airport Bar
Buy a cheap ticket, put your bum in the security line, and sit at the most appropriate bar to be at alone on Valentine's Day: an airport bar! So random, but so very fun.
This suggestion is actually a pretty good and serious idea — if you're volunteering, you're not really "skipping" Valentine's Day, you're just doing a really kind and generous thing for others. This is my most serious suggestion.
I hope that if you feel like skipping V Day this year, you feel less alone and more in my club. The day is weird, and even the "single people" traditions of getting drunk or hanging out with friends can make you want to nope on out of Wednesday and fast forward to Thursday. Cheers to skipping holidays, an underrated yet challenging thing to do.
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