The eternal relationship conundrum: to befriend or not to befriend an ex. The amount of debates I've gotten into over this question really is unbelievable, and naturally, there is no "right" answer. In a prefect world where everyone has the tools and emotional maturity to process their feelings, the idea of cutting someone you used to love out of your life just because a romantic relationship didn't work out might seem totally outlandish. But at this point, it seems like so many of us are total nay-sayers when asked — can you really be friends with an ex?
And while I frequently find myself mentally flip-flopping on my opinion, in the end I think it really just depends on the people involved and the catalyst for the separation. Remaining friends with an ex when the decision to separate was mutual is a completely different ball game than if one of you cheated, which is also different from remaining friends with an ex you dated for three months as opposed to six years. To get a bit more input on the subject, I took to reddit to hear why some people choose to remain friends (or not) with an ex.
I've tried (to an extent) with each and every girlfriend I've had and it's always failed or ended up in more pain for one of us. With each break-up there were different circumstances as well, IE I've been the dumper or being the dumpee, it just never works out in the end. I know some people can do it but honestly I think it's easier leaving things and moving on, they're in your past and you have to move on and build a future.
Dude, this is 99% of the time a bad idea. Go no contact if possible. No matter what anyone says or believes the little fantasy/thought of "Maybe we could get back together..." is always in the back of your heads and the whole friendship gets weird quick.
Don't be friends with someone you used to f*ck. It's a huge red flag to new potential partners, no matter how much they say it isn't. And shit can absolutely happen and feelings can come back. Especially if you're upset with your current partner. If the ex is so important you'd still be together. Save everyone a lot of potential heartbreak including yourself. It's not worth it.
When it comes down to it, there really is no hard and fast rule about whether remaining friends with an ex is a good or bad idea. Staying friends is definitely possible, but to ensure that a friendship is the healthiest decision for everyone involved, it's important to take both of your feelings about the matter into account.
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