Ah, ghosting. It's the dating phenomenon that happens when people are too cowardly to actually end things with the people they've been seeing, so they choose to just… disappear instead. Ghosters are idiots. But if you've ever been ghosted, know that you're not alone. In this column, I share a tale of a time a reader was ghosted (with accompanying screenshots) so you can see the last text that was sent or words that were uttered before someone decided to disappear forever. I present to you: Boom, Ghosted.
This week we have Aliyah* who was ghosted by her long-distance boyfriend during a trip she made to see visit him.
My ex and I met in 2010, he was going to university in my hometown and we met my first year of school. We dated off and on and once he graduated he moved back to his hometown.
Over the years we always kept in contact went on dates every time I would visit him — but in between we did date other people because he wanted marriage and kids and I was only 20 years old and wasn’t ready for that yet.
Fast forward seven years later. We started talking again in October 2017. Things started to get more serious between us and were going great. December 2017 I made a trip down to his hometown to go see him. Things were great!
We talked about a future — getting engaged in six to eight months, marriage and kids within the next year and a half. All was well. This past weekend (Apr. 19-21) I had a course in his hometown and he told me to stay the entire weekend so we could spend it together.
We talked about a future — getting engaged in six to eight months, marriage and kids within the next year and a half.
Everything was good, talking normally each day up until Friday evening, I asked him “what are you up to?” and no answer — so I said I would give it until Saturday morning because technically that was “the weekend." I woke up to no phone calls or texts from him (weird because he would call or text every morning). I went to send him a message and I found myself blocked on Whatsapp, Snapchat and his calling.
So there I was left in this big city all alone — hotel and flights booked for the entire weekend and all I wanted to do was die and go home so badly. I was an utter mess. And I have not heard from him since.
I was an utter mess.
No closure, so many questions but what a coward — after knowing him and dating off and on for eight years and more seriously these past seven months. Makes NO SENSE. I am so hurt and feel so used and betrayed. Long distance is hard enough but getting ghosted while you visit your long distance boyfriend is downright lowest of the low.
Are. You. KIDDING. Me!!?!!!!?!!?!!!? Let's set aside the fact that they'd been dating on and off for eight years and the fact that they had just talked about getting engaged in a matter of months and the fact she was visiting him in his hometown per his request when he decided to ghost her.
My main issue here? The fact that the last message he chose to send her BEFORE BLOCKING HER was 1) telling her how beautiful she is and 2) informing her that he's actually in another country on vaycay... ?!?!?! WTF?
Have you guys ever been through anything like this? Can you relate to her? Can you maybe even relate to HIM? Whatever the case, feel free to send your thoughts (and stories) over to us at firstname.lastname@example.org! We always want to hear from you.
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