Millennials don't break up anymore. I mean, how could you break up if you were never even in a real relationship, right? Right. So, instead we fizzle. But how, exactly, do you go about letting it fizzle? Easy. We ghost.
What's ghosting? Well, according to Urban Dictionary:
The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.
Honestly, couldn't have said it better myself. It's basically what happens when someone just disappears from your life. LITERALLY TURNS INTO A GHOST.
It's a millennial tragedy. A unique kind of pain our parents and grandparents and even our older siblings will never be able to understand. No, it's just an "us" thing.
It's an embarrassing kind of pain. One that kicks you while you're down as the pain of your relationship ending, coupled with knowing that the other person didn't even respect you enough to formally end things. Simply put, it sucks.
But as I do with most things, I see something kind of comical about the concept of ghosting. Because, most of the time, the last thing you said to the person before he or she seamlessly disappeared from your life was something stupid like "Me too" or "IT'S PIZZA TIME" (seriously, this is the last thing my friend said to a guy, and I would include the screenshot in this article, but she DELETED it ... ugh).
That was another problem with this article: Everyone's been ghosted at one point or another, but getting the screenshots for it was HARD. Turns out, most people delete conversations as soon as they get ghosted, because getting ghosted is embarrassing.
I guess I get it. Anyone who's ever been ghosted would get it.
Luckily, there were some people who didn't delete their messages. And those people were brave enough to share the last conversations they had with their ghosters with me for this magnificent compilation of MILLENNIAL TRAGEDIES.
The girl who didn't understand your music references.
I was originally asked by my mom who works with her mom to help her go over some CPA review stuff so we got dinner to discuss it, and the strategies I used to pass it; turns out she worked in the same building as me on Long Island, so we were discussing getting lunch one of the days while we were there ... that never happened. She actually did end up passing the exam though.
The girl who wasn't dying to make plans.
My friend in Jersey City was hooking up with his roommate. He said she had a friend for me, so she took us to the bar she worked at and introduced me to the girl. She was all like, "OMG, it was so nice to meet you," all, like, starry-eyed and stuff. And every time my friend's girl (the matchmaker) would ask her about me, she'd be all heart eyes. But whenever I would text, it would just be the most frustrating thing ... like, the read was so hard. She was all like, "Yes lets definitely hang out." Needless to say, we never hung out. Think she un-added me on Snapchat as well. So that's cool.
The guy who never said "you're welcome."
I was seeing this guy on and off for a year. He was my BANG buddy. One morning, I woke up and told him it was over, then kicked him out of my apartment. A couple of days later, I realized that was rude of me, so I texted him thanking him for some chocolates he got me. I guess he was salty about the whole thing, because he never responded back to me. I was ghosted after a year with this guy. Ghosting sucks.
— Sheena, 25
The guy who killed the conversation.
I was hooking up with this guy pretty consistently (like going on dates a couple times a week, spending the night at each others' places) for FOUR MONTHS. I realize I didn't have the last word here, so technically I guess he didn't ghost me. But four months of basically dating concluded with one single "Me too." Seriously never heard from him again. Like, are you kidding me?
The girl who wasn't dying to talk about her future.
I met her at Halloween. She was friends with one of the girls my buddy was hooking up with whose place in Astoria we were partying at -- I got her number by having her take a picture of me to send to me; we spoke for a little that night and then again the next week. We were just getting to know each other, as you could see, and then it just ended. Granted, her phone was broken, so she was using her old BlackBerry. Then three weeks later I saw her on the LIRR and ironically she actually spotted me and came and we spoke in person ... and that was that.
The guy who never followed up.
This guy I met on Bumble seemed pretty enthusiastic about wanting to hang out with me, so we made a SPECIFIC PLAN to go out THE NEXT DAY (we had the location picked and everything). After I texted about a time (see screenshot), he said nothing to me until a couple hours before the date was supposed to begin. He seemed to feel bad about “not feeling too energetic,” and I even gave him an opportunity to hit me up again next week, but he just didn't? Like, why ask me to hang out if you're just...not going to?
The guy who bailed on solid plans.
A month ago, this guy I've known for a long time texted me to hang out. I wasn't free the night he texted, so I suggested we get together the following week for dinner. He was totally into it, we had a convo about where to meet and when, and it was settled that on Tuesday night at 6:30 we were going to meet at this cafe on the Upper West Side. The day before the dinner, I texted him to confirm that he was still good to hang out. No response. I called. No answer. I literally have not heard from him since. We've known each other since middle school. Wtf?
The guy who just straight-up ignored the sh*t out of you.
I was studying abroad and this guy broke up with me because I "didn't like hiking." Whatever. So I was texting him like being like "Can we talk about it?" and he wasn't answering. So I assumed that his phone was broken or some sh*t so I turned to Facebook. That's when I realized he wasn't answering because he was actually ghosting me and he had gotten all the phone messages. Here's the last desperate bit of communication.
*Name has been changed.