When you're a queer woman dating other women, it's much easier to compare yourself to the body of the person you're dating or hooking up with. You may feel uncomfortable sizing up your curves versus your girlfriend's athletic frame. Or you could feel that much more understood. She knows that insecurities you may face, as it's possible she shares the same insecurities herself. When it comes to body image for lesbians and queer women, there's not one specific universal experience. But, I spoke to a few women who are dating women (or who have in the past), and they told me how their experiences helped them feel better about their bodies.
Megan, 25, feels better about her body when dating women because it changes the way in which she sees herself.
"With queer relationships, [it has] always felt like we're more concerned about how our personalities mesh — I'm attracted to confidence and queerness, not thin waist lines, and I know my partners feel the same way," Megan tells Elite Daily. "When I hooked up with girls who had the same fat rolls as me, the same flabby stomachs, I never viewed any of their 'flaws' in a negative way. I loved their bodies, and realized that mine was just as perfect. I realized I was ultimately attracted to confidence, especially people who are confident in their own queerness, and body type wasn't even on my radar, so it took that pressure off of myself to have the 'perfect' body."
For Sabrina, 22, dating women helped her confront her body image issues, and eventually, led to her feeling more at peace with her body.
"My girlfriend at the time would ask me why I was always so quick to get dressed after we had sex or why I was uncomfortable having sex with the lights on," Sabrina tells Elite Daily. "We talked about it and I explained how self-conscious I was. She told me how beautiful she thought I was, and it was one of the first times I had ever felt that someone meant that genuinely. She would always tell me the little things she loved about me and my body, and over time I started to see my body more of the way she did."
Sabrina's ex-girlfriend's support led to Sabrina wearing crop tops for the first time, and which gave her "a new kind of confidence." She says, "My relationship with my body is so much better than before I met her."
Emma, 22, notes that her girlfriend shows her so much kindness to her body, through her words, love, and how she takes photos of her, that Emma now sees herself through her girlfriend's eyes.
"She takes a lot of pictures of me which I love," Emma tells Elite Daily. "I know that sounds vain, but it's really nice to see myself more how she sees me."
Emma shared that body positivity has been something she's "struggled with" in the past. "She always makes a point to say how much she loves and values my body," Emma says about her girlfriend. "[I love] the way she respects me makes me respect myself more. She makes sure I know how beautiful I am on the outside, but also on the inside."
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be crying gay tears in the corner at all of these wonderful stories.
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