I used to have some serious (and dangerous) misconceptions about sex. I went to an extremely conservative school, and our sex ed class wasn't so much about the "ed" part. It was more about scaring the hell (literally) out of us. In fact, it wasn't even called a sex education. It was called "sex respect.” Essentially, there were so many things I learned at the time that contradicted what actual science says. So, as you can imagine, I had to unlearn some serous myths about sex as I got older and started — ahem — respecting sex a whole lot more.
But it’s not just people stuck in backwards sex education classes who struggle to separate sex myths from sex facts. Misinformation is everywhere. From the nonsense that older siblings have told us to the misinformation in TV and movies, the myths are everywhere. While some of these myths may seem relatively harmless, the fact is that some are downright dangerous and can have major consequences, from unplanned pregnancies to STD transmission to just limiting your ability to be the fully realized and sexually healthy and satisfied person you deserve to be. So, with the help of the experts, I'm here to debunk a few sex myths that have got to go, now!
Sex Myth #1: If You're Turned On, You Shouldn't Need Lube
Have you ever been hooking up and you're totally into it, but for some reason, it’s like the Mojave Desert in your pants? Hey, it happens, and it’s not weird — it’s just a thing that occurs sometimes. Self-lubrication does not automatically mean you are aroused and vice versa. "Sometimes you get wet when you're turned on and sometimes you get wet because it’s Wednesday afternoon," Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast, tells Elite Daily. "Your body’s natural response doesn’t always cooperate with your sexual desires. This is why we have lube — it makes sex wetter, hotter, better, and more interesting.”
Sex Myth #2: You Can't Get STDs From Oral
Sorry to break it to you, but if you think oral sex is a work-around when it comes to contracting STDs, you're wrong. You can definitely contract STDs from unprotected oral sex. According to the American Sexual Health Association, "chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis," among other STIs, are all contractable during oral sex. And even though you may not want to hear it, the risk can be lowered a bit by "using a condom or dental dam." So before you go down, make sure to strap up.
Sex Myth #3: The G-Spot Doesn't Exist
There is a lot of back and forth about the existence of the G-spot, but let’s put that to rest once and for all. Sex expert and founder of The V.Club, Courtney Cleman, tells Elite Daily that what constitutes the G-spot is still being discovered, but the question of its existence is settled. "There is a debate about whether the G-spot is the internal projection of the clitoral organ or if it also includes other nerve endings,” she says. “But the bottom line is that the G-spot is real and every woman has one."
Sex Myth #4: More Orgasms Equals Better Sex
Orgasms are awesome, but does it mean the more the merrier? Turns out, not necessarily. According to O'Reilly, there isn’t data that suggests that having multiple orgasms is a sign of greater sexual satisfaction. “In fact, some of the women I work with describe multiple orgasms as less intense, and some prefer one deeper, ‘bigger’ orgasm to several in a row,” she explains.
Sex Myth #5: Having A Lot Of Sex Makes Your Vagina Loose
So yeah, we've all heard this chestnut. Turns out it was sexist garbage all along. Your vagina doesn't get loose because of a few Ds. A baby comes out of that bad boy (or girl), so I don’t care how well-endowed someone thinks they are. It's not going to make a difference. Sex expert and journalist Michael Cattleman, MA, wrote in Psychology Today:
The vagina's tightly folded muscle tissue is very elastic, like an accordion or the mouth. Try this: Pull the corners of your mouth out toward your ears then let go. What happens? The mouth immediately snaps back to its pre-stretched state because the tissue is elastic. Do it 100 times. There's no permanent stretching ... The same goes for the vagina.
Sex Myth #6: Good Sex Should Take A Long Time
There is a misconception that good, satisfying sex takes a long time to complete. And hey, if you’re into that, great. Tantric sex is a thing, after all.
However, for most folks, O'Reilly says they don’t actually want intercourse to take as long as possible. “We may want to prolong the sex session (touching, kissing, caressing, rubbing, vibrating, sucking, licking, etc.), but not necessarily penetration,” she says.
Sex Myth #7: You Can't Get Pregnant On Your Period
Think you can't get preggers while you're on your period? Think again. Yes, it’s less likely, but it can still happen. It all depends on when in your cycle you typically ovulate. According to the American Pregnancy Association, women who have shorter menstrual cycles (like 21 to 24 days) also typically ovulate earlier in the process. This can mean that the sperm — which can can live up to five days inside the vagina — may still be hanging around when ovulation occurs.
Sex Myth #8: Pulling Out Is A Good Form Of Birth Control
It might seem like the withdrawal method would be a great form of birth control. I mean, if they pull out before they come, then bingo, no baby, right? Well, the truth is, it’s still extremely unreliable. According to Planned Parenthood, if the withdrawal method is practiced perfectly, it usually has a 96 percent rate of success. Sounds good, right? However, in the real world, it's almost impossible to practice perfectly, so the actual efficacy of the method is 78 percent. Yikes. Not to mention, it obviously doesn't protect against STDs.
How many of these myths did you believe? Don't feel bad if you bought into any of them, because there was a time when I believed them all. But the good news is that, if I can unlearn them, everyone can. Here's to a happier, healthier, and more informed sexual future.
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