Whether it’s the end of a months-long affair or a years-long love, there’s no doubt the pain of a relationship ending can cut deep. You’ve collapsed into a pit of despair, snuggled on the couch with your besties and cried into your ice cream. A broken heart is nothing to sneeze at — it’s important to take time and feel your feelings. But as important as it is to fall apart, it’s also important to fall together and move on after heartbreak.
When you’ve had a good cry and made your way through Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler’s Stages of Grief, here are some ways you can pick yourself back up once you’re ready. There’s no heart too broken that Cher, *NSYNC, TLC, and gummy bears can’t heal, especially with their powers combined. I assembled a list of 61 awesome ways to make it through your heartache and safely cross over into the other side: recovery, renewal, and radiance. Take a look at this collection of emotionally, physically, and philosophically satisfying — if I do say so myself — ways to get over and just like Stella, you’ll have your groove back in no time.
Oh, and your ex? If they can’t see how great you are, you’re better off without them.
1. Go through all the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
2. Listen to Cher because she knows what’s up.
3. Fall apart in front a movie theater in Brooklyn in front of your friend Andrew, who has never seen you cry. When you ask if he thinks you’re stupid, he will laugh and say no. If he doesn’t find yourself a new friend Andrew.
4. Pull an Elle Woods. You can take this to mean enrolling in law school and rising to the top of your class to show what a bonehead your ex is, or you can get a manicure. OR BOTH.
5. Wear lipstick in whatever shade you want. And as much sticky, sticky lip gloss (it’s back now, you know) as you want so you feel like Britney circa 2000.
6. Listen to the advice of Lizzy Caplan as Casey in Party Down. But, like, metaphorically.
7. Dance hard and fast and with your whole body until whatever hour your want.
8. Strut down the street on a windy night and feel the breeze pushing your hair back like a supermodel.
9. READ BOOKS. Because knowledge is f*cking power.
10. Buy a new pack of condoms. You might need them soon! That old box that's been sitting in the back of your underwear drawer since 2015 won't cut it — when condoms expire, they're no longer effective.
11. Talk to your friends, and your family if you like them.
12. Eat Sour Haribo Gummy Bears with a friend as you walk through Sephora marveling at how a compact could ever cost over $50.
13. Remember this *NSYNC jam.
14. Do a charcoal face mask.
15. Make your own list filled with ideas for moving on that make your heart feel full again.
16. Date people who are magical, who have passions and dreams and ambitions, who are excited by the prospect of living in the world, who are optimistic but down to earth. No Muggles!
17. CRY. Loud and hard and lose your breath. Find it again. Inhale. Exhale. You will be fine.
18. Take a cue from Angela Bassett as Bernardine in Waiting to Exhale. Or just watch Waiting to Exhale.
19. Master a cat eye. It’s a great look if you’re worried about crying because you don’t need eyeliner on your lower lid.
20. That being said, invest in waterproof eyeliner, mascara, and eyeshadow.
21. Write. Scribble furiously as you’re waiting for the F train.
22. Make lots of plans to occupy your time. Text all your friends — every single one of them — right now.
23. Support your friends. Read their work, see their concerts, watch their standup, listen to their podcasts. Friends were there before the lovers who left and friends will be there long after the lovers that have gone.
24. Take your roommate up on her offer to borrow that dress you always thought would make your boobs look great, then go out together and trade relationship battle stories.
25. Love. Yourself. First.
26. Have a glass of wine. Or seltzer. Or Diet Coke. Or regular Coke. Whatever makes you unwind (but everything in moderation).
27. Be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid to talk about how you’re feeling.
28. Make decisions with a clear head, not when you’re sad or angry or sublimely happy.
29. It’s OK to not be OK. It’s also okay to feel sublimely happy and you don’t have to feel guilty about it.
30. Cook something delicious.
31. Buy yourself something pretty because you effing deserve it.
32. CRY AGAIN. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger.
33. Give yourself tasks and keep yourself busy.
34. Go after your dreams. Success is the best revenge.
35. Don’t talk sh*t about your breakup on the internet because that’s childish.
36. Have your picture taken, even if it’s just by a friend.
37. Buy one of these and wear it with pride.
38. Don’t let anyone tell you you aren’t [insert phrase here] enough. You are enough. You are more than enough.
39. Head straight to the salon with that one Pinterest photo you've been staring at for years.
40. Make your bed.
41. Take vitamins.
42. Pet every cute dog you see on the street.
43. Ask older people about their experiences with love and heartache.
45. Give and accept big hugs.
46. Kiss with passion or not at all.
47. Listen to Karina Longworth’s podcast about old Hollywood, "You Must Remember This," and learn your romantic life probably isn’t half as bad as some of these celebrities of yore.
48. Write to your congressperson about the things in America that piss you off.
49. Order takeout.
51. Tell people about your breakup if you want to. Don’t tell people about it if you don’t want to.
52. Unfollow your ex on social media.
53. Laugh at dirty jokes.
54. Wear glitter.
55. Wear pants that make your ass look juicy AF.
56. Meet other people.
57. Watch standup on Netflix.
58. Write a book.
59. Listen to TLC’s "No Scrubs."
60. Don’t text your ex. Not even if they text you first.
61. Listen to the gospel of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: "Don’t marry (or date or f*ck) a weak man. If he asks to come back, say no. Why? Because he left."