I would not wish a breakup on my worst enemy.
Well, maybe I would. That might actually be the perfect thing to wish upon your enemy.
Breakups suck. I don't need to remind you of that. You can feel them in your guts. You don't know if you're supposed to keep talking to your ex, do a social media blackout, and pretend your relationship never existed.
I have tried to get over breakups in myriad of ways — none of them great. I cut my own bangs (especially not great). I've quit my job and moved back in with my parents (incredibly not a good look). I even changed cities once, so I never had to run into my ex-boyfriend, which, in hindsight, wasn't necessary, as the internet exists everywhere.
So instead of Bridget Jones-ing after a breakup, why don't you try one of these unconventional tactics instead?
Try an app.
Believe it or not, there are actually several apps that will help you get over heartbreak.
For example, there's Mend, a personal trainer for heartbreak. According to the website, the "app is like a best friend who never gets sick of hearing about your breakup. Every day, Mend checks in with you and guides you through heartbreak, step by step."
It has audio trainings, allows you to track your progress, and also has a wealth of blog posts you can read — all backed by data that will actually help you get over that guy who seems impossible to get over.
Visit the Museum of Broken Relationships.
Want to get over your relationship? Why not visit a museum that is literally full of heartache — The Museum of Broken Relationships. (They had a group date there on Nick's season of The Bachelor, in case you don't remember.)
They have a location in Los Angeles, but if you can't make it there, why don't you check out their website to view some mementos from relationships that didn't quite work.
Some artifacts include things like furry pink handcuffs, a pair of breast implants, and, well, an old toaster. Along with the objects, you get to read all about the broken relationships they came from, and perhaps you'll feel a bit less alone.
Or you can at least take some inspo from the furry pink handcuffs into your newfound single life.
There is nothing more stereotypical than dying or cutting your hair after a breakup.
The best way to gauge someone's emotional landscape is to take a look at what their hair is doing, compared to how it normally is. If I've recently dyed my hair pink, then most likely, my emotions became so overwhelming that if I didn't call a hairstylist immediately, I thought I was going to die.
But I've regretted a lot of post-breakup bleachings once I'd recovered from missing my exes. My heart was fine, but the health of my hair was... not.
So if you're tempted to get bangs, or do anything insane to your hair, may I suggest investing in a fun wig to sport around your house, for Instagram photos, or wear out on the town, instead of doing some permanent damage to your hair?
You'll thank me later.
Make a Burn Book.
I am a big believer that being angry is healthy. However, sending angry texts, emails, or passive aggressive subtweets to your ex is not.
Emotion is energy in motion — it's gotta get out somewhere. So, buy yourself a brand-new notebook, and every time you're feeling angry at your ex, write him a letter.
While it might not be appropriate to vent all those feelings out at him, and your friends will probably get sick of hearing you complain at some point, getting all your resentments out is still necessary — and cathartic.
So write some angry notes. Fill up a whole journal if you need to. And when you find yourself finally over your ex, you can burn the book... in a safe way, of course. Do not light your ex's house on fire, OK?
Help someone else in need.
The best way to get out of your own head during a breakup is to help someone else get out of theirs. Helping someone else with their problems can really put your own in perspective.
So if you really want to get over your breakup, then get out into the community. Volunteer, do charity work, and be of service. If you want love in your life, then be love. Giving back is the best way to demonstrate that.
Remember, you're a strong, independent woman who don't need no man. You can do this!
And if all else fails, you can always just shave your head, change all your social media handles, and move to a different country, right?