Just picture it... You’re on holiday break, hanging out with your hometown besties, catching up on life and avoiding your respective families. As you finish your second drink and make eyes at the cute stranger from across the bar, who shows up? None other than your high school ex. FML.
If there’s any show on TV that teaches you how to handle this situation, it’s Ex on the Beach. A delightfully shady social experiment that elicits all the cringe, the show brings a group of reality stars to a gorgeous beach retreat where steamy new romances are sure to blossom. The twist? Each week, one of the cast member’s exes show up to settle a score, rekindle a flame, or just cause chaos. Oh snap! The new season of Ex On The Beach will feature a new set of OMG-worthy reality stars like Teen Mom’s Farrah Abraham, The Bachelorette's Chad Johnson, Janelle of Bad Girls Club, Morgan of Big Brother: Over The Top, and more getting surprised by their former loves. We're practically salivating over the drama...
The new season premieres tonight (at 8/7c only on MTV), which is right about when we’re also at risk of running into our own exes at home during holiday break. With that in mind, we’re turning to a new season of Ex on the Beach for some some helpful survival tips should you run into your ex on your trip home.
1. Keep Someone Else On Your Arm At All Times
The value of moving on (or even just the appearance of it) is never to be understated. Whether it’s a pissed-off ex looking to make waves by hooking up with a hot newbie, or one of our reality stars making their former boo jealous with a hot new hookup, Ex on the Beach is ultimate proof of this fact. Malcom, pictured above, and Maya of the cast really have that down pat. (And Malcom of course knows the strategy of playing two people very well from this reality TV tenure). And yes, slyly hooking arms with the stranger next to you in line at the grocery store totally counts. Just calmly explain the situation as you stare lovingly into their eyes, and they should get it.
2. Make Yourself Look Amazing On Social Media
The ‘gram is the ultimate tried and true outlet for making your ex realize what they’re missing. Pepper your social feeds with a mixture of alluring selfies, irreverent and humorous personality posts, and plenty of unexplained pictures of cuties who might be your significant other. It works like a charm for the Ex on the Beach gang. When the inevitable run-in occurs, they'll ask how you're doing, but already know you're doing amazing without them per social media.
3. Don't Leave The House Un-Contoured
Even if you're simply strolling down the driveway to pick up your parents’ mail, it’s wise to have your makeup done at all times during this dangerous, dangerous week. After all, you never know who you might run into (::cough cough:: your ex ::cough::). Take a cue from the ardent contouring of Ex on the Beach cast member Nicole. Clear eyes, full contours, can’t lose.
4. Carry A Polygraph Everywhere You Go
You never got a straight answer about whether they cheated on you that night in 2012, but you must know the truth. Imagine you have them cornered in the Ex on the Beach's Shack of Secrets. (FYI that’s the chamber in the show where all the most scalding relationship tea is spilled). Buying an online polygraph is just as effective. Just strap ‘em into that lie detector and watch the needle dance.
5. Don't Be Afraid To Reminisce About Old Times
Don’t hesitate to remind your ex of all the good times while you’re catching up, especially if re-coupling is the goal. Just like we see with Big Brother’s Morgan when her ex Jay shows up on the beach, sometimes following your heart means getting back with an ex. Just don’t be surprised when another ex shows up to complicate things.
6. When All Else Fails, Be Messy!
Didn’t get to say everything you wanted during that last big fight? Take a page out of the Ex on the Beach playbook, and come for them like you never have before! A Long Island Iced Tea or three will give you all the liquid courage you need to get the last word in (even if it’s three years too late).
This article is sponsored by Ex on the Beach, new season premieres tonight at 8/7c only on MTV.