You probably have your whole life on your phone. Your plans, pictures, contacts — someone can get a whole lot of insight about you from what's on your device. And if you live life honestly, that's fine. Now, I don't condone snooping through your partner's phone without their knowledge. That's a huge violation of trust. But if you happen to borrow your partner's device or use it with their permission and you find these red flags on your partner's phone, they could be indicators of troubled waters in your relationship.
Granted, each couple has their own lines that they agree not to cross as part of being together exclusively, and none of these signs may explicitly scream cheating! However, these red flags could be behaviors you're simply not comfortable with your partner engaging in – everyone has different breaking points, and it's up to you to speak out on it if you see something that bothers you. If you see any of the following, be sure to sit your partner down, and address your concerns.
They delete their texts and calls.
I personally sometimes delete texts and calls when I don't want to see the interaction anymore, but I'm single and have nothing to hide. If your phone died, and you're borrowing your S.O.'s phone to make a call or send out a text, and see that their history is deleted, that's a big red flag that they're hiding something from you.
They won't share their password for you to do something simple on their phone.
If your partner doesn't even want you on their phone at all, that should certainly raise a lot of questions. Is there a text conversation they're ashamed of? Did they have a long phone chat with an ex? Do they have romantic dinner plans with someone else?
They receive push notifications from dating apps.
You're making a brunch res for the two of you on their OpenTable app, and a push notification from a dating app pops up, saying they've received a new message or match. The argument could be made that they've "forgotten" to deactivate their account, but a new match or message shouldn't be flashing on their phone if you two are exclusive.
They don’t take calls in front of you.
When I've been in a relationship, I'd take any call in front of my S.O. – I'm a chit-chatter, so when a call pops up, I usually take it. If they're hesitant or outright refuse to take calls in front of you, it may be a sign there's something they don't want you to hear.
They never leave their phone unattended.
This could be for an innocent reason, like having their phone as a security blanket of sorts. But if they are hyper-aware of never leaving you with their phone while they aren't present, like when they're going to the bathroom or something, that only leaves one question, really: Why?
Their background or lock screen is a picture of them with someone else.
I'm not talking about a photo of your partner with all their camp friends – this red flag would be an intimate photo with another person, either hugging, kissing, or embracing in a romantic way. This would of course be devastating to see, and would be grounds for maybe more than a serious conversation about boundaries.
Remember, if any of these red flags occur or are a recurring issue, check in with your partner about why it's happening. Communication is key, and these behaviors may be a misunderstanding, or fixable.
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