Over the years I heard horror stories of how badly those invited to be a part of the wedding party can completely destroy a wedding day. Recently I was at a wedding at a prestigious country club … I was led down a hallway and before I even reached the door I could hear yelling and arguing over the ambient music of the resort. The maid of honor had arrived an hour late, just 20 minutes before the wedding. She was not dressed for the wedding, but in gym shorts and a tank top and her hair looked like she had just gotten out of the pool. The dress that she was supposed to wear for the ceremony had not been tried on since it was left with the seamstress and of course it was too long and too tight. She got so aggravated with those around her that she then threw her professionally dyed shoe at another bridesmaid and broke off the heel of her left shoe. Broken heel, dress too long and tight, hair all a mess…she decides to just sit in the middle of the floor and pitch a temper tantrum, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Whose wedding is this anyway? It is not her moment to shine, but to carefully, tenderly point all the attention to the bride. An hour passes while a spoiled brat of a woman carries on and delays the wedding of her “best friend.” Two hundred guests sat in white wooden chairs for almost an hour in the Florida sun waiting for the wedding to begin. What did the bride do? She did the most noble of things I have ever seen. She gathered the other ladies together, lined them up to process down the aisle, and then called security to have her maid of honor removed from the venue…in her un-hemmed, too tight dress, with her hair in a towel, wearing only one shoe.

— u/Green7000

my MOH literally no-call no-showed. My (now husband) and I had a private ceremony attended only by our parents, officiant, and photographer. Sure, I didn't ask her to come to the ceremony or do much other stuff for the position, but all the more reason why I expected at least bare minimum. The weekend after our July 7th wedding, the reception was held in my parents beautiful backyard. Guess who didn't show up? GUESS WHO FLEW TO DALLAS INSTEAD??? Yup, my shining made of shame. This girl, my bff since freshman year of HS, did not attend either of my two bridal showers, made no attempt to throw me a bachelorette party (even though I wanted one), and flew to Dallas, TX 4 days before the reception.

Now, when I got engaged, I asked her if she COULD take the position, citing that I know she's really busy being a hip Portland barista and going to college. She agreed enthusiastically! "Great, she's totally on board! I can count on her", I thought. WRONG! She would never text me back, wasn't involved in any planning, shopping, or setup. I saw that she'd posted on a different friends fb wall "on my way to Dallas!"

The day after I got married (4 days before reception) and texted her right away, "will you be back for Saturday?" And got no reply. A couple days later I messaged a mutual friend hoping to be told that it was a joke, she would be coming, and found out that neither of them would be there. So yeah, my MOH visited a different friend in a different state instead of coming to my wedding reception (or anything else).

— u/Inky_Blinky_Bean

I’ve known my MOH since 1st grade, she is going for her masters now, and when I asked her, I said will you have the time to be able to help me and do the duties for the MOH? Of course she said “absolutely!” without any hesitation. My wedding is 2 months away and my bachelorette party is this weekend and my MOH or other bridesmaids have planned nothing for it. I’m the one who ended up doing everything. We all were together 2 months ago discussing ideas for a party. I told them that I am up for anything…. except for strippers :p But I talked to my bridesmaids and other friends to see if they could help my MOH or me for that matter out for the party but they haven’t done anything either.

The only thing that my MOH has helped me with so far, is my bridal shower invitations.

— u/ktcakes

I got engaged last year and we had our date and venue sorted early this year. Then my sister (MOH) gets engaged a few months later. So exciting!!! She always said she wanted a small summer wedding, with bare minimum guests, not in or near the town I grew up in (parents lived somewhere else when she was in school etc). In short, she'd always been after something different than I wanted for my wedding.

Well... all that changed and she's now having a very large winter wedding with all our family in the town she'd always said she didn't want to get married in... 4 weeks before my wedding...

I'm trying to not let anything get to me - all that matters is we're both happy... but damn if it isn't difficult sometimes not to feel frustrated or competitive. I'd really been looking forward to sharing my ideas with her as we planned stuff but now I don't want to tell her anything I'm doing. It feels so childish and I hate myself for it.... but I'll never understand why she picked a date that was so close and before mine. If I'd got engaged after her never have entertained the idea of picking a date 4 weeks before her wedding. It just seems so rude. I know if roles were reversed she'd be super p*ssed at me.

— u/kuoki

My wedding was last weekend. It was lovely and perfect. However, my MOH completely dropped the ball. For my bachelorette party, she forgot to make reservations for dinner and we all had to scramble to find another place forcing everyone to wait another hour before we could eat. The other girls were really great about it and it turned out ok, but I was a little irritated by it.

The next thing was that she was supposed to co-host my bridal shower. My mom graciously offered to help with everything and even let us have the shower at her house. But then, my MOH told my mom nevermind and left her to plan and host the shower alone (I found this out after the shower happened). She also showed up to the shower an hour late and then left after about 45min. It was also a lingerie shower and instead of lingerie, she gave me towels. She said she thought it would be funny to give me a bag that had a lot in it and then for it to be towels.

The next day, she texted me to say she wasn't coming to the bridal brunch I had planned to thank all of the girls which was starting in just a couple of hours. She was there for the rehearsal and the dinner which was fine. But at the wedding, she was acting really weird. Disappearing before the ceremony started and then pulling me into the bathroom because my pianist said something to her (he was telling all the women at the wedding how pretty they were and she took it as some kind of come on and freaked out).

Then, the biggest thing was that I had asked my sister-in-law (my matron of honor) to do the toast at the reception because of my MOH's behavior at the shower. Apparently, my MOH told my sister-in-law that she wanted do it and had prepared a toast. We get to the toasts and she refuses to do it! So there is this awkward silence while I'm looking at them wondering what is going on and luckily my sister-in-law got up and gave a lovely toast for us. After that, my MOH disappeared and went home early. I haven't spoken to her since the wedding.

— u/classicstar28

Let me start by saying that I had some doubts about even making my MOH my MOH but she is one of my best friends, I didn't want to choose between my two sisters as I love them both equally and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and my other "best friend" lives 12 hours away and I didn't want the job of being MOH a burden for her. So my current MOH, was the obvious choice — except that when I told her I was engaged she was.. not all that excited to say the least, in fact- she was more pissed than anything because her boyfriend of 7 years (who happens to be my cousin) hasn't proposed to her yet. She literally told me if she doesn't have a ring on her finger by the time I get married she was going to "freak out". I took that with a grain of salt and fast forward to this past weekend which was my fiancé and I's engagement party, the party went off without a hitch and was perfect.

Since I had all my bridesmaids and mother and MIL in town for the engagement party, I scheduled an appointment for dress shopping the day after — this is where things got really messy.

While two of my bridesmaids helped me do my hair and get ready for the bridal salon the other two (incl my MOH) were busy doing shots at noon. By the time we reached the bridal salon they were both sloshed. One of them *my older sister* was sobbing in a corner about how her wedding was falling apart and mine was just beginning which I get has to be awful for her but — this is one of those few times it should have been about me, and my MOH was literally dropping F bombs up in the small bridal boutique like it was WW3.

Every time I came out of the dressing room my MOH would literally scream her opinion of my dress before I even made it to the mirror. The entire time I was on the verge of tears, literally having a panic attack every time I stepped out of the dressing room- she let no one, incl my mother have a word in edgewise. I was completely rendered unable in forming my own opinion because, again every time I pulled the curtain away she would scream something like "NO! YOU HATE STRAPS!" or "ISN'T THAT A LITTLE TOO CONSERVATIVE?" "THAT TOTALLY ISN'T YOUR STYLE!" I was overwhelmed and confused and picked a dress because I felt pressured by her to and then stayed up all night sobbing about it because I knew it wasn't my dress.

Fortunately, I called my mom and dad the next day and we immediately went back to the dress shop and they allowed me to have a "do over" and I was able to make my own opinions in a peaceful setting rather than being screamed at for 2 hours by a blacked out drunk girl. Thankfully, I did find my dream dress that day.

So now it's Wednesday, three whole days after the incident and she still hasn't so much as texted me an apology.

— u/peniscoladaz

Yep, after reading those horror stories, I’m definitely going to opt for a nice, small wedding. Just me, my partner, and the Elvis impersonator conducting the ceremony. It’s just safer that way.