Relationships

6 Dirty Texts To Send If You Have To Be Your Own Cupid On Valentine’s Day

Gone are the days of singles being banished into a 24-hour, anti-love purgatory come Feb. 14. I repeat, Valentine's Day is no longer a holiday exclusively for the enjoyment of couples because — spoiler alert — it's just like any other damn day, peeps. This means all of my unattached baes out there are well within their rights to go on the prowl for some V-Day lovin'. If you're hoping to put out some DTF? feelers out there, then you're certainly going to need inspiration for some dirty texts to send on Valentine's Day.

Sometimes, the best way to celebrate the day of love is to practice some self-love by going after what you want. While hitting someone up for a Valentine's Day hookup might have been no-no in the past, the world continues to crumble at a truly mind-numbing rate. So if there was ever a time to throw caution to the wind, now would definitely be that time. Also, to get the most bang for your buck, (sorry, couldn't resist), messaging a couple of seasoned hookup buddies as opposed to a brand new dating app match is probably a safer bet. But if you're in a pinch, why not be bold and message that latest dating app much you know is DTF? Here are some flirty texts that definitely won't go unanswered.

1. "Happy Valentine's Day! I've got the strawberries, but would you mind bringing the cream?"

Look, if getting some action between the sheets on Valentine's Day is what you're after, then some amount of corniness is pretty much unavoidable. If you ask me, a holiday to celebrate love is inherently as corny as it gets, so don't fight it. In fact, use it to keep things light, playful, and, most importantly, sexy.

2. "It's 2:14, so make a Valentine's Day Wish! I know what mine is..."

Trust me, their curiosity will get the best of them, so expect a "and what is that?" text shortly after. All you have to say is "You, naked." Just ask (and wait for full, voluntary consent) and you shall receive. And honestly, if that doesn't work, then a bottle of wine and a rom-com aren't the worst consolation prizes.

3. "The jury's still out on if you've stolen my heart, but you can steal my underwear."

If sending an open invitation feels too forward, then dropping some sexy and playful hints to get them to bite the bait and suggest a tryst is totally an option.

4. "You must be a wizard, because thinking of you never fails to make my underwear disappear. Happy Valentine's Day!"

When you're fishing for a hookup, mentioning underwear is almost guaranteed to get results with just about anyone who's interested. Corny? Yes. Effective? You bet.

5. Just Send A Sexy Photo (If You're Comfortable With Doing So And Trust This Person)

If you'd like to go the show and tell route, then a tasteful, but enticing, pic isn't a bad idea. Just remember that the standard rules of sexting still apply: Make sure you're comfortable with sending one, make sure the receiver is comfortable of sending one, don't show your face, and make sure you trust the receiver. Oh, and don't send photos of anything they haven't had the pleasure of seeing in real life.

6. "Hi, I'd just like to place an order for delivery? Can I get a sexy bae, with clothes on the side?"

This is cute, it's succinct, and if they aren't DTF, then it's easy for them to dodge. All in all, it's a solid text that could very well lead to some last-minute fun.

It's important to remember that there's nothing wrong with going after what you want. If a Valentine's Day tryst sounds like the perfect way for you to celebrate, then do it! And while there is always the possibility that the person you have in mind has plans, you won't know until you ask.

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