One of the most fun things about being in love is finding new ways to express to your partner how much they mean to you, but coming up with new ideas as the relationship progresses can get a bit more challenging. Thankfully, there is a way to up your romance game by knowing how to make your partner really feel special based on their love language. Basically, knowing the way that your boo feels the most seen and cared for is a really effective way to communicate what's in your heart in way that's sure to be heard and appreciated.
But first thing's first: What are the five love languages? If you aren't familiar with the concept, it was first introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. After decades as a couples' counselor, Dr. Chapman came to the realization that people basically fall into five categories in terms of the way they both express and most effectively receive love: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch. Once you know which of those categories your partner falls into, you basically have a roadmap to their heart. Here are some ideas to capitalize on that have the potentially really make your partner feel amazing, based on their love language.
If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, what that means is the best way to show them your love is through communication. They can’t hear "I love you," enough or in too many different ways. But it’s also about generally using your words to help build them up by showing both appreciation and gratitude. If you really want to to make your partner feels special, go back to the basics with a love letter. Don’t worry — you don’t have to be Shakespeare, just write from the heart and you partner will hear you loud and clear. Or, if you want to go for a grand gesture, get a vase and fill it with dozens of small notes each spelling out something you love about them.
Of all the love languages, this one is probably the most misunderstood. It’s not about materialism or giving the most audacious and expensive gift, it’s about thoughtfulness. The gift isn’t just an object; it’s a physical manifestation of a thought. It’s proof they can hold in their hands that they were foremost in your mind — that you listened, and that you wanted to do something nice and loving for them. If this is the love language your SO speaks, it’s all about the small gestures, like bringing them a little souvenir when you’ve been away. Or paying attention to something they said they like and then surprising them with it. Sure, they love the gift, but they love the fact that you remembered even more.
For folks who consider acts of service to be their love language, these are people who are all about show-and not-just-tell when it comes to love. An act of service doesn’t mean you're their servant, but rather, that you're there to lend a hand and have their back in a way that is thoughtful. In this case, it’s really all about being tuned in to your partner to anticipate their needs and step in without having to be asked. It means you're paying attention and that they're worth the effort to you, which means everything. So, if you want to spoil your partner, plan something special for them where they don’t have to do all the labor, like a special meal, or give them a day off where you pick up the slack for them and they can just relax.
For folks who value quality time above all else, this era of smartphones is a real bummer. For these folks, what says “I love you” more than anything else is having your undivided attention. They want their partner to set aside time to be fully present with them, where they can connect and be close without any other distractions. A great way to make someone who appreciates quality time feel really special is to carve out a chunk of time when you're all theirs. You can plan a road trip where the destination is really just being together. Or if you want to stay closer to home, surprise them with a board game night or a marathon of all their favorite movies.
If your partner’s love language is physical touch, chances are you don't need to take a quiz to find out, because this is a type that shows it. They find any excuse to be close and, to touch you whenever possible. Like acts of service folks, this is a see-not-tell language, and they let their feelings be known through kissing, cuddling, holding hands, and, of course, getting busy. So, if you want to reciprocate and really make them feel special, give them an incredibly tactile experience with a romantic bubble bath for two. Find a hotel with a nice big bathtub with lots of jets, and pour in the bubbles. Then, just let them enjoy the sensation of the water and you oh-so-close by.
While speaking any of these love languages to your partner is sure to make them feel loved, by focusing on the one they're most emotionally fluent in, you can really communicate what's in your heart, and make them feel like they're truly seen and loved. How amazing is that?
