One of the worst things about going through a breakup is feeling powerless, especially if you weren't the one who wanted to end things. Your heart is breaking and everything feels like it’s spinning out of control. You feel lost. But no matter how awful it might feel in the moment, I promise you it won’t always feel that way. In fact, there will come a moment where you'll slap that chapter closed and be ready and eager to move on. Knowing how to get closure from a relationship, even if your ex isn't willing to give it you, is one of the ways to get to this place of freedom (read: zero f***s given), and it begins with taking back control of your own narrative.
You can do this by actively giving yourself symbolic closure — instead of just waiting around for it to happen on its own. I don’t know about you, but when I'm sad or anxious, the only thing that makes me feel better is having a plan of action. Oftentimes just by doing something, I'm able to get out of my head and get some relief. This is especially true after a breakup. So here's what you should consider doing after a breakup to officially mark its end and get some freakin' closure already!
I know what you’re thinking: "That old movie stub he left behind is practically a family heirloom, I couldn't possibly let it go." No girl, purge! If you want to get them out of your head and start living your best life post-them, you need to wipe the slate clean. Literally. That means giving them back everything they left behind, and what they don’t want goes directly into the nearest dumpster or gets donated to a local charity shop. Getting your ex out of sight equals getting them out of mind.
Your bedroom (your entire house honestly) is haunted after a breakup. It's filled with bad, ex-infused energy and it's up to you to make a like ghostbuster and clear those spectral memories out. Give the room a thorough sage-ing. Even if you don’t believe in the spiritual aspects of burning sage, there is something just plain cathartic about watching something burn. Better sage than, ya know, your ex's house, right?
You aren’t the only one who needs a fresh start and a clean slate. In fact, your bed may be even more in need of it than you. If you've been thinking it’s time to get a new mattress, a breakup is the perfect excuse to pull the trigger. If a whole new mattress seems a bit too extreme, then at the very least it's time for some new sheets. The higher the thread count, the better. Treat yourself, because the brand new you is luxurious AF.
And be ruthless about it. Delete the ex from digital existence. The same goes for their friends and family. (If you feel guilty about straight up deleting, start by blocking them). The next step is to then purge all traces of them from from your social media. With every #couplegoals selfie you send screaming off into the digital abyss, another weight will be lifted off your shoulders.
Nothing says closure like making the decision to move on without looking back. Just make sure not to rush into anything new too quickly. Take some time just to be single, get your flirt on, and maybe have some fun. Nothing too serious. Because this brand new you is all about self-care and just doing you.
One last little bit of advice. Getting closure from an ex is kind of bulls***. On its own, closure isn't going to un-break your heart when you're hurting after splitting up. But you know what isn't BS? Giving yourself closure. Don’t worry — you got this.
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