After hooking up with someone, it's always fun to describe every single detail of the time to your friends so they can get excited about what happened with you. I mean ... that's normal, right? Regardless, I'm always here for the hot gossip. Dish your secrets to me, tell me about your crush –I want to know it all. I'm nosy AF and want to freak out with you. I recently asked some friends and searched the internet to find hookup stories worthy of you, dear readers. The following are hilarious, wonderful, thoughtless, and outright weird. These stories about hookups will have you laughing out loud... and you might be thankful that a few of these didn't happen to you.
As for me, this isn't the most recent one, but it's the most classic Elana move — because it was unfortunately pretty embarrassing. I went on a couple of dates with someone, we ended up going to his apartment to watch Netflix. And oh, silly me actually wants to watch movies. We started watching some sci-fi flick and apparently the single moscow mule got to me: I passed out. After intermittent periods of sleeping and then waking up, I told him I needed to actually go home. So I ended up falling asleep during what was supposed to be – I guess – a hookup. Great going, me! Anyway, here's the rest of the hookup stories. Enjoy.
Katie was having an off night when she decided to go out with a coworker and her friends. She began talking with one of her coworker's friends who happened to love books. They took an Uber to the bar together, and he bought her a drink when they arrived. They got separated from the group they arrived with and started kissing.
"You think we'd be kind of past the whole drunk makeout-in-a-bar-basement, but like, here we are," she tells Elite Daily, due to them both being in their mid-to-late 20s. After they made out, they went to go find some friends, and Katie saw him making out with another girl.
Katie's friend apologized to her for the guy's behavior, but Katie didn't care. She bought a beer and went home to her dog.
After her birthday party surrounded by friends, she took a friend home and they ate pizza, cake, and had sex. Her favorite part of it was eating birthday cake while he went down on her.
"It was four glorious hours of cake love-making," she tells Elite Daily.
Irina regularly hangs out at a bar with a cute bartender (classic). She made a move on him, and invited him back to her place. They talked on the roof, talked, then had sex.
Irina loved that he let her finish first and wasn't scared off by using a vibrator in the bedroom.
"He encouraged it because it was all about me," she tells Elite Daily.
One guy on Reddit went to a wedding alone in Chicago after getting divorced. He sat with people from his old law firm who attended the wedding, including an old friend.
"At dinner, we were seated next to each other," the user described on Reddit. "She was plainly drunk by this point. She started out rubbing my leg underneath the table before the salads were served. I quickly got the hint, and I think we excused ourselves to go upstairs to my room [and] fool around several times during dinner. We would leave, fool around for a little bit, come back downstairs, and repeat. I think I had two bites of my meal."
He finished his post retelling the tale by attributing this hookup to giving him some self-confidence after his divorce.
Another Reddit user told this ... interesting hookup story. He met a woman named Ellen through mutual friends, and one night, went out for drinks with her. She went home with him, they had sex, and he persuaded her to leave the next morning when she wanted to spend the day together. She left, and later asked to get dinner. He responded saying he wasn't into anything serious.
The next day, Ellen sent him the following e-mail:
The sun dripped from the sky like syrup. A tarantula crawled cautiously out of your mouth.
If anyone wants to interpret this e-mail, please feel free. Predictably so, the man never saw Ellen again.
*Name has been changed at the source's request.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!
