5 Signs Your Partner Is Comfortable Around You & Expresses Their True Self
When you're getting to know someone while dating, you may be overthinking what you say, unsure of what to do with your body when sitting or hanging out with them (just me?), and in general, feel kind of awkward. As you get used to spending time with another person, you'll adjust, and feel more natural being with them. If you want some signs your partner is comfortable around you, I've rounded up a list with the help of Samantha Burns, relationship coach and author of "Breaking Up & Bouncing Back."
Of course, take these with a grain of salt: Everyone has varying comfort levels and it takes time for certain people to let others in. Like, if you go to hold my hand on a first date I'll wonder what the hell you're doing because I just met you and hand-holding in my eyes is ridiculously intimate. I reserve that kind of thing for at least a couple of dates, if not an actual relationship. (I know I am maybe slightly ridiculous.) So, if you're in a relationship, the following signs will certainly tell you that your partner has reached that point of comfort level with you.
1. They Tell You How They Really Feel
If your partner is comfortable with you in the relationship, they won't be walking on eggshells to spare your feelings when sharing an opinion. They won't be worried that you will disagree on an opinion they have — they may even be excited by the difference in perspective and seeing your point of view.
"They are being authentic and real, which means they express their genuine opinions without trying to alter their stances to be positively evaluated by you," Burns tells Elite Daily. "They are comfortable in their own skin."
2. The Conversation Goes Beyond Small Talk
Burns says that another indication that your partner is comfortable with you is if the conversation goes beyond things like the weather and how your work day was. "They are able to open up about intimate topics rather than keeping it superficial," says Burns. "They can share with you their goals, insecurities and what they’re looking for in a relationship."
When someone is able to discuss vulnerable talking points with you, you know that they feel safe and secure in your presence.
3. They Find Ways To Show Affection
You know when you have zero chemistry with someone, even sitting side by side with them feels uncomfortable? Yeah, well for the opposite effect, someone you're comfortable with will feel totally at ease letting their leg rest against yours.
"They seem comfortable showing affection, whether holding your hand or giving you a kiss good night," says Burns.
And the comfort they feel is also displayed in how they verbalize their affection for you, too. "They are able to compliment you and tell you what they like about you, and they are straightforward in communicating about where they stand in terms of wanting to continue dating you," Burns says.
4. They're OK With You Seeing Their "Flaws"
If "they don’t feel the need to be perfect or 'on' all of the time," Burns says, that means they're pretty comfortable around you. That means they're fine with you waking up to their morning breath, being around them when they're in a "mood," or seeing their hair disheveled or face sans makeup. They're not scared that you seeing them in a slightly-less-than-perfect manner will make you think less of them.
5. You're The One They Go To First
Whenever they have news to share — even if it's inconsequential work gossip (which I am always here for) — and they go directly to you, that shows how safe they feel. This shows you're who they want to confide in. "You’re their go-to person for communication and life updates, their emotional home," says Burns.
It's not easy to feel comfortable around someone new. But once you find that sensation, hold onto it — it's one of the best feelings in the world.