Call me a modern day Nancy Drew, because boy, do I love an internet mystery. The sweet suspense of figuring out what I can garner from a Google search! The anxiety that ambushes my esophagus as I wait to see if an Instagram is private! The satisfaction of seeing a like on Twitter and confirming that I was right all along! The distance one will go to investigate a crush online is perhaps the truest form of modern romance. There are always signs someone is in a relationship online, and I'm going to teach you how to find them.
Before I share all of my hot tips and tricks, I must admit that my online stalking can lead me astray. I once assumed that a dude I was crushing on had a girlfriend — but it turns out he just had a few close female friends. I also once tricked myself into believing a dude I was seeing lied to me about being away on Valentine's Day and was actually right here at home in New York City... until I found hard Instagram evidence that he actually was traveling, as he had originally told me. Oops.
I have struggled with too much internet investigation, so take all of these tips with a grain of salt. That said, if there's a coworker, local barista, or even a person you're actually dating (because some people are cheating pigs) whose relationship status you want to know, take a peek at these signs that a person is in a relationship. (But please, don't let them make you jump to ridiculous conclusions! Or, in other words: If you start being a Nancy Drew about your ex, unfollow them!)
I'm raising my hand, because I do this. I do this because I love tiki drinks, and sometimes I just want to make people I'm not entirely over curious or jealous. I also do this because I'm shy about sharing my new dude with the world because I'm weird like that. Patterns, people, patterns! Seeing tons of two-plate or two-glass photos with no Instagram handle or other face in sight? Keep your magnifying glass handy.
If you, say, take a quick search for a certain person's name on Venmo, and you notice they're constantly paying the same person for things, sometimes even with heart emojis, they might be in a relationship. Venmo is the hottest tip out there, because everybody forgets that Venmo has a damn newsfeed. Plus, most people are public on it. But also, beware: Venmo-ing a person for a beer emoji does not mean two people are banging. This is the slipperiest slope of them all.
If you're following your crush on Instagram, and they haven't posted since 2015, fear not, because you can still figure out who they may or may not be involved with by clicking on their tagged photos. Are the majority of the photos tagged of them tagged by the same person, who also writes lovey quotes beneath each post? Yeah, they're dating.
It's super easy to check to see if your crush is liking tweets from one person and one person only all of the time. Just go to their page and check out their "Likes." Remember though, you can like another person's tweets without being in a serious relationship with them. (For example, I am not in a serious relationship with Chrissy Teigen.)
You know when a person that looks sort of romantic, but you never see anyone in a single one of the million Instagram stories they post toasting glasses in Positano? Add a whole bunch of solo pictures posted that are clearly taken by an Instagram Husband or Wife, and you're probably looking at the profile of a person who is at least dating someone seriously enough to travel with them.
And no judgment! Not everyone is willing to share their relationships with the world. Always investigate with caution. Good night and good luck!
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