After hours of getting your swipe on, you finally match with a person you could really see yourself dating. They've got bedroom eyes that look like they could make your clothes vanish into a cloud of smoke. But not so fast, because sometimes, trouble can come even in the most attractive of packages. That being said, it's always a good idea to watch out for red flags in a dating app conversation before you meet-up in person. There's no need to conduct a full-on background check before you grab coffee (unless you find something ultra suspicious in your pre-date Googling), but there are some giveaways that a new hottie isn't all they're cracked up to be.
When you think about all of the horror stories of deception that have stemmed from the quest to find love on the internet, many of us are pretty cautious to begin with. But noticing red flags isn't always about avoiding the worst case scenario. Rather, being observant can simply keep you from wasting your time on people who aren't looking for the same things you're looking for. If you notice any of the following things while messaging back and forth with a match, you may have a troll on your hands.
1. They Go Radio Silent For Long Periods Of Time
We all get it: Life can be very hectic. In the early stages of chatting someone up, it's totally normal for there to be some dips in the convo. But if your match is frequently bailing in the middle of a conversation, without so much as a "Hey, gotta run. Talk soon!" only to reappear ages later with no excuse, then this isn't a good look. This type of wishy-washiness is likely to continue, if not get worse as time goes on, because behavior like this early on usually means their interest level isn't the highest.
2. You Got A Message That Was Meant For Someone Else
If you just started messaging with a match a few days ago and you get a message out of the blue that was clearly meant for someone else, it should definitely raise some questions. If they suddenly refer to you with a pet name they've never used before, seem way too familiar, or even worse, reference something that straight up never happened, then you might have a player on your hands. And while there's no shame in dating around, if this person is careless enough to be texting the wrong things to the wrong people, then they are probably not worth your time.
3. They Get Pushy When You Don't Immediately Respond
I will never understand why not getting an immediate response to a message leads some people to believe that the solution is to keep sending messages constantly. If you set your phone down during a gym run or work spiral, and you check your phone after, only to find 20 consecutive messages from the person you've been chatting with for a day or two, then it's time to run, or at least to be upfront with them about their behavior. If they are already acting this way, just imagine how much they'll be blowing up your phone once you've been on a couple dates.
4. They're Extremely Vague About Personal Details
I'm pretty sure the whole point of messaging someone on an app is to see if you both have some shared interests or some level of compatibility before you invest a lot of time and energy into a few dates. This means you both should be getting to know at least a tiny bit about each other's personal lives. Obviously, you don't want to talk about too much before a first date (so you still leave some topics to talk about), but you can still cover some of the basics: where they're from, their hobbies, what neighborhood they live in, etc. However, if they avoid divulging even small things about their personal life, it could be that they have something to hide.
5. They Keep Steering The Convo Toward Sex
At one point or another, we've probably all been caught in the grips of horniness and been a bit more forward than normal. We're human; it happens. But if your match continuously makes explicit or sexual comments every time you chat — and you're not into it — then you may want to show them the door. By now, most people know that sending unsolicited pics and anything too brazen is a no-go in the early stages, especially if you've yet to meet this person.
Of course, there are always exceptions to these rules, and just because someone is acting a little sus at first doesn't necessarily mean that they are, in fact, a sketchy person. However, the initial messaging stage is way too soon for the cracks in their facade to be showing, if you ask me.
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