If you're like me, then you're all a flutter before your first date. You'll change your outfit a million times, smear your makeup, and be going over all possible first date conversations in your head. It's one part anxiety, one part anticipation, and a large part of the thrill of meeting somebody new. Because if I'm being honest, I absolutely love the first date. It's always different, you never know exactly what the other person is going to be like in an intimate setting, and the rush that comes from putting myself out there never completely fades.
Part of putting yourself out there involves having some great topics to switch up the regular old flow of first date conversations. Questions like "What was your major?" and "Where are you from?" and "What do you do for money?" can get really old, really fast. Think of it this way: If you don't even know if the person you're going on a date with is a good conversationalist, you should aim to entertain yourself with the questions you're asking. Don't let the pressure of having to come up with something to say make you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
If you're feeling like you're already in a conversational rut before you've even gotten out the door, here are some topics that will wash away your nerves with the flow of talk:
1. Have You Ever Thought About What You Want To Show Up In Your Obituary?
Worried that you'll scare them away with morbid first date conversations? Lucky for you, it's almost Halloween. Instead of asking somebody what their goals are or, worst of all, giving them the old "Where do you see yourself in five years?" asking your date what they hope to be remembered for is a great way to get a glimpse into what they want to get out of life. Maybe you'll find that you have complimentary desires that make you an amazing match.
2. So, What Do You Think Your Personal Celebrity Scandal Is Going To Be?
If your date has ever done anything remotely bad and gotten away with it, then they've probably thought about how it's going to catch up with them later. And if they've never done anything truly bad before, maybe you can be the Bonnie to their future Clyde.
3. What's Your Favorite Excuse For Getting Out Of Plans On A Friday?
I've started thinking about every Tinder date I go on as a rendezvous with a potential ghost. Want to find out what their excuse is going to be before they even give it to you? Then this is the question to ask.
Even if they never ghost on you, you'll know whether they prefer to ditch their friends at the bar to watch Netflix instead, or if they're a more of a stay in and eat soup kind of person. And if they never ever break their plans to meet up with friends at the club, then at least you know from the start that you are fundamentally incompatible because you literally turn into a pumpkin at midnight. Or is that just me?
4. What Did You Do The Last Time You Played Hooky From Work?
Hopefully you're not on a date with some goody two shoes who only ever leaves work early if they have a legitimate dentist appointment. Finding out how your date likes to goof off lays the groundwork for both of you to have some fun together. Who knows — maybe one day you'll both end up taking the same sick day.
5. Where Was The Last Public Place You Cried?
If you're going on a date with a sensitive crybaby after your own heart, then this is the question to ask to really get them to open up about their feelings. Not only are crying stories perfect for eliciting immediate sympathy, but crying in public is funny in a dark way, too. And if they can't see the humor of having a drunken weep in a Sunoco parking lot at 3 a.m., do you really want to go on a second date with them in the first place?
All of these questions are tried and true methods to get somebody to open up without saying something outlandish, freakish, or completely off-putting. Don't forget to let them ask you some questions too! And most importantly, have fun. As long as you're yourself, what can go wrong?
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