5 Holiday Sex Positions For 2018 That’ll Definitely Land You On The Naughty List

The holidays are a magical time of year where we come together to celebrate, but it's also the perfect time to celebrate by coming together — literally. Yep, I’m talking about giving the greatest gift of all to your loved one: Orgasms. Lots and lots of orgasms. To help spice things up, why not add a few new holiday sex positions for 2018 to really make this Christmas an unforgettable one?

While all these positions feel so amazing that you might think you're getting rewarded for being on the nice list, trust me when I say they are kinky enough to to guarantee you a spot at the very top of your partner’s naughty list — in the best way possible, of course. So, if you're looking for a way to make sure you're having a very happy holiday season this year, here are a few festively freaky positions to try out over winter vacation. They're so good they'll have you asking: Is that a lump of coal in your stocking or are you just happy to see me? (Sorry! I know that joke was terrible, but I just couldn't resist — and believe me: Try these positions once and you won't want to either.)

1Kissing Under The ~Mistletoes~

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Kissing under the mistletoe may be a holiday tradition, but this position is about to become yours. To assume this position, have the receiving partner lay on their back with their head propped up on a pillow. The penetrating partner then places their partner’s ankles on their shoulders and penetrates their partner while pressing their partner’s knees into their chest, so that the receiving partner's feet are over the the penetrating partner’s head — hence the name! This position allows for maximum deep and powerful penetration. Merry Christmas!

2The Stocking Stuffer

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Everyone knows that the best presents are the ones tucked in your stocking. Turns out, the same goes for sex positions. To achieve this position, have the penetrating partner sit at the edge of the bed with their feet flat on the floor. Then, the receiving partner straddles them, facing downward, with their hands on the floor and knees on the bed (think wheelbarrow position). Talk about intense clitoral stimulation! Plus, with the receiving partner’s head lowered like this, they'll have more than visions of sugar plums dancing in their head, if you know what I mean.

3Spiking The Eggnog

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One of my favorite things about the holidays is sipping on some spiked eggnog. In fact, the only thing sweeter may be this position, because there is no shortage of oral satisfaction. This position is for deep throating, so, like with the spiked eggnog, you’re going to want to take it slow and easy. Have the receiving partner lie on their back face up on the edge of the bed. The penetrating partner can then carefully and gently perform oral sex.

4Going Down The Chimney

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Since it's the holiday season, why not give a bae a peek down your chimney in this advanced, but oh-so-worth it, oral position? To achieve this position, you’ll need a soft surface like a bed to protect your neck. To get into this position, have the receiving partner lay on the edge of the bed with their legs dangling over. The giving partner then places the receiving partner’s knees over their shoulders and lifts them up into a shoulder stand position. By tensing your core, blood rushes exactly where you want it, so that you get all the holiday gifts you deserve while you partner gets a super hot view. Everybody wins.

5Sitting On Santa’s Lap

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Want to get into the holiday spirit? Then why not have a seat on Santa’s lap? (A naked seat, that is.) To assume this position, have the penetrating partner (Santa) take a seat on a chair or the edge of a bed. The receiving partner is penetrated while sitting, facing away, on Santa’s lap. This position is great for deep penetration, but also leaves the hands free for clitoral stimulation.

Once you’ve, ahem, exchanged gifts, all that's left to do is snuggle. Happy Christmas to all, and to all a very, very good night.