Having a steady partner can be awesome. You have someone to cuddle with when it gets cold outside, someone to order Seamless with, and someone to have great sex with on the reg. It's great, but it doesn't come without some boundaries. Just because you and your partner are happy and in love doesn't mean you have to constantly be in communication. Looking at these signs you’re texting your partner too much, according to experts, might mean you should consider reigning it in a little.
The thing is, "you can text your partner too much," Dawn Maslar, author of Men Chase, Women Choose tells Elite Daily. "When a person falls in love, research has found that his or her serotonin drops to the level of someone with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). This [can] cause the person to feel obsessed. This may lead to over-texting."
As Maslar says, you can text your partner too much, but that doesn't mean you are. "Texting is a personal issue between two people," she explains. "If they both are happy with the level of interaction and it’s not creating a problem in their lives, then feel free to text away!"
That being said, here are some signs that you're texting your partner too much, straight from the experts themselves.
You might be texting your partner too much if the people around you are starting to notice it, Maslar says. "Since the obsessive effect can happen to both [people in a relationship], texting may not be a problem with the other person," she explains. "However, it may cause a problem in other areas of your life, such as work. If someone at work comments about your texting, that’s probably a good indicator that you are texting too much. You might want to decrease the activity before it has an adverse effect on your job. If this is the case, you want to talk to your significant other so that they don’t perceive your decrease [in] texting as waning interest in the relationship."
While you might not notice the fact that you're texting your partner too much, they might, and they might feel weird about mentioning it to you. Instead, you probably just won't get a timely response. "They don't write back for hours at a time, most of the time," Stefanie Safran, Chicago-based matchmaker, tells Elite Daily. So look at your partner's responses to you. They might be saying more than you think.
Maybe your partner texts you back, but they don't say as much as you do, or they aren't as involved in the conversation as you are. "They write short answers to your questions that require more information," Safran says of another sign that you're texting your partner too much. Again, look at how they're communicating with you if you think you might need to step down a little bit.
Maybe you're excited about something and just can't wait to talk to your partner about it, or maybe you're arguing with them and you're getting heated about your point. Whatever the case, it might not be the best idea to send a lot of texts in a short amount of time. "You know you are over-texting when you text again before the other person gets a chance to respond," Maslar says. Seriously, "just because it's easy to press 'send' to get information from someone, or to share your feelings, doesn't mean it's a good idea," Safran adds.
At the end of the day, you and your partner need to determine your own texting style. If one of you is uncomfortable with the amount of texts, try to find a compromise, Safran says. "You need to find out how to best communicate with your significant other as text is only one part of the equation in communication," she explains. Do what's best for you and your partner, and you'll both be happy.
