Let's be real: When you're dating someone new, it isn't always easy to interpret exactly how you feel about them. The process of dating is pretty much guaranteed to bring people into your life who you feel strongly attracted (or unattracted) to. Unfortunately, one of the toughest dating dilemmas to navigate is feeling lukewarm. Learning how to accurately spot the signs you're just not that into someone is a crucial part of getting the most out of your single life. According to Dr. Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, giving yourself enough time to see if your feelings can grow stronger without treading water is key.
"The biggest 'trick' with dating is giving a relationship enough time to form without wasting your time or the other person’s if there is no connection there," Dr. Klapow tells Elite Daily. "The balance is critical because very few relationships start and continue at a high level of interest and engagement. There will always be ups and downs, higher levels of interest and lower, but the key is to look at the 'average.'" If you're feeling good about the relationship more often than not, then that's a good sign. However, if you suspect it might be time to move on to a more promising prospect, here are some signs you're probably not that into them.
Even if you're dating someone who's amazing on paper, if after a few dates your gut starts telling you something's not right, then this is reason enough to keep stepping. "You may like them, you may have interest in their interests, you may find them attractive objectively, but nothing is puling you to want to be with them more and more," explains Dr. Klapow. "There's no physical pull or attraction to them."
Ultimately, telling someone you're not interested in dating them anymore is tough, but it's so important to be honest about your feelings as soon as you've figured them out. However, it's also a good idea to remember that there's no rush. Some connections take longer to build than others, and that's OK. But once you know deep down that you don't really want to be with someone, it's time to kindly cut them loose.
Experts:
Dr. Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show
Susan Winter, relationship expert
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