You’ve been flirting and dropping hints for weeks, and yet your crush, who you suspect is also crushing on you, just isn't making that first move. You can feel the tension, and yet every time the perfect opportunity for them to express what they're feeling or ask you to grab a drink comes up, it just passes by. The mixed signals can be super confusing — and even a bit frustrating, if you're being honest. But it might just be that you're crushing on one of the shy Myers-Briggs personality types who just aren't comfortable making the first move. In that case, it could be you to take a plunge and ask them to grab a coffee.
These personality types tend to be introverted, but not always, as even extroverts can find themselves getting bashful when they're around someone they're attracted to. Others just need it to be really clear that someone's into them before they can take the leap and put themselves out there. Feeling vulnerable is hard for most people, but with these types it can take an extra long time before they feel comfortable taking that risk. So, if you like one of these personality types, you've got two options: wait them out or take the lead yourself.
INFJ's a little on the slow side when it comes to opening up to new people. Instead, they prefer to wait and observe. They're highly insightful and empathetic, so they often understand people's motivations. But even when they pick up on someone being attracted to them, they need a little extra time before they open up. They're very private people, so, despite having a lot of love to give, they're often shy about showing it. They typically let things develop slowly, starting with friendship, until they can't hold back any longer and all those bottled up feelings come spilling out.
INFP is a sensitive soul who's often terrified of being vulnerable. So, despite their big and loving hearts, they often hold back from expressing their feelings when they're infatuated with someone. The more they like someone, oftentimes, the more shy and bashful they get about doing anything about it. They prefer the long game when it comes to seduction. They take the time to get to know the person they're attracted to and develop friendships. Then, when they are good and ready, they throw caution to the wind.
ISFP's friendly and kind, but also prefers to keep to themselves a bit. They like to have plenty of personal space, so when they're finding excuses to strike up a conversation or just be present, that’s a sign they're infatuated. While ISFP is often too shy to make the first definitive move, they aren’t afraid to flirt. They can turn on the charm, albeit on the subtle side, to express what they're feeling. This is them putting out the signal that they're interested in you and hoping those feelings are reciprocated. If the feeling's mutual, make that first move and put ISFP out of their misery already.
It’s not that ESFJ won’t make the first move, it's just that they're going to have to be very, very sure that the feelings are mutual before they take that leap. They're worried about being overly forward and want to avoid any conflict or uncomfortable moments, so they're often very hesitant to tip their hand. This can sometimes come as a surprise, as ESFJ's typically comfortable in social situations and is an easy conversationalist. It’s when romantic feelings get involved that this personality type gets all bashful. So, if you’re crushing on an ESFJ, flirt back and make it as clear as possible that you're interested, if you want them to finally shoot their shot.
Letting someone know you're interested in them can be a challenge for anyone. It's harder for some than for others, and that’s OK. It just means it might take a bit longer for things to progress than with a personality type who's more comfortable taking that leap. In that case, it's up to you if you want to let things unfold slowly or take the reins and see where things are going, like, now.