The best sex isn't about the position you're trying, but the mood you set beforehand. Along that same line of thought, the best sex movies to try if you're shy are the ones that make you feel comfortable. You don't need to have memorized the Kama Sutra in order to have an orgasm, and you don't need to be an acrobat in order to impress your lover. In fact, you don't need to worry about impressing your lover at all. You are impressive just by virtue of being you. Before we start talking about having sex, it's best to get the fact of your sheer wonderfulness out of the way.
Everyone deserves a partner who is respectful of their needs and boundaries during sex. There's nothing wrong with being shy and wanting to take things slow. The partners who figure out where you are emotionally and are understanding of the needs arising from your feelings are the ones with whom shy sex will be amazing. In many ways, shy sex might even be better sex. Taking it slow allows for tension to build, elevating pleasure and giving space for the healing properties of sex. With an understanding lover who is able to treat sex as an intimate dance, your shy sex might be some of the best sex of your life. Here's how to work on the long game.
1. Be Seductive
The best sex positions aren't even sex positions. You can incorporate intimacy and eroticism into casual touch. Placing a hand on your lover's arm, touching their face, and spontaneously embracing them throughout a day or night can all be preludes to sex. Even complimenting your lover, praising them in some way, is an act of vocalizing your passion for them. Just because it isn't happening in the bedroom, doesn't mean it isn't a prelude to sex. Let a quiet, confident desire flow through the tiny motions you make to one another throughout the night.
2. Recognize Give And Take
Sex is a way of transferring energy. Good sex transfers love; bad sex transfers fear. And love is about what you can give — not what you can take from another person. Approach sex with this mindset, particularly with the positions you want to try. Is this position coming from the place of what you can give to your lover? Are the positions your partner is initiating coming from a place where they are thinking about what they can give to you? Sex should never make you give more than you are able to, and no person should ever approach sex thinking about what they can take.
3. Involve Water
Taking a bath or a shower together first is a way of cleansing your bodies, preparing for touch, and appreciating one another's physical forms, without necessarily going all the way into sex or extremely intimate touch. Try taking a bath with your lover. Sit across from one another or lean back and let them cradle you in their arms. This act of intimacy can warm you up to feeling comfortable with having sex. The hot water also loosens tension you might be carrying in your body, eliminating stress.
4. Take Time Alone
You can also cleanse your aura prior to having sex in order to make sure you are approaching sex from a place of openness and reciprocity. Put brightly colored rose petals (red is good for passion) mixed with two tablespoons of white vinegar in your bathwater and soak with it, alone. This can be the private moment you need to gather yourself and feel secure exploring your own body before launching into the arms of another. Sometimes, the best sex positions are done in solitude, where you can really take your time.
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