Cuffing is the Harambe of dating: a meme-worthy concept that has persevered for so long that it has become a part of the lexicon. However, unlike Harambe the gorilla's passing, "cuffing season" has led to zero casualties. Well... unless you count heartbreak. "Cuffing" yourself to someone for a season so that you don't have to fully commit to a relationship can obviously lead to hurt feelings. I would posit that most of these hurt feelings are due to a lack of communication between the cuffs. But now that it's spring, time's up — if you want to uncuff, address your cuff directly.
Hot tip about breaking something off: hints don't work. They especially don't work when you're telling someone you've been intimate with that you no longer want to smush body parts together. Sure, you can refuse their advances and roll away from them in bed... if you're a butthead! You could hint that you're not over it by gradually sending shorter and shorter texts until they ask you, "How was your day?" and you reply with, "Eh," but that's a super-jerk move.
And even if you're down with being a butthead, dropping hints is not the most efficient route to get back to being truly single. Hints are easily ignored. Case in point: when I first decided the long brown hairs on my legs needed to go, I tried the route of hinting to my mom before asking her outright. My hints were aggressive, I would drape my legs over the backseat of the car whining about how hairy they were. Or walk my mom over to the razors aisle at CVS and stare at the Venus' admiringly. Spoiler: she didn't let me shave my legs until I asked her directly.
You are not 11-years-old, so treat your cuff like the leg hair I so desperately wanted to get rid of, and be straightforward with them already. Here are four red flags that you have not been direct, and your cuff has a 12 percent or less idea that you're over the "relationship."
If I were a better version of myself, I would respond to all texts efficiently and honestly before starting my day. "Want to grab dinner?" merits a, "No thanks, I can't tonight," within an hour or two, maximum. But I am a terrible texter who will ignore you even if I love you.
Even with my texting pitfalls, I know when someone really wants to hang out. They keep texting anyway! If your cuff texts you despite your slow or lacking or nonexistent responses, they're not over you. I didn't have to tell you this, you know this, now deal with it. It takes one (transparent) text!
Even Grandma knows that the point of cuffing — albeit a vague concept — is that it is seasonal. If your cuff — or, person you are sleeping with without having grown up talks about what you are doing — is asking you about your Memorial Day plans, they obviously have a different take on the relationship. This is where YOU come in again, have the damn talk. It's easier than feeling somewhat guilty as you slow fade your cuff over the next few months.
You're cuffed, not dating, which I assume means that being tagged in an actual Instagram post is completely out of the question. But is your little cufflink tagging you in Instagram Stories they post regularly? Cool, you're definitely not being clear about the fact that you're over it. Do better — next time you're hanging out, doing something your cuff might try to tag on Instagram, open the conversation and tell them you think it's time to call it quits. (But maybe say it more nicely than I just did...)
I mean, duh. They might also say, "I like you a lot," or "I love hanging out with you." My point here is this: it's very easy to enjoy attention, and to let someone you're not all that serious about get serious about you. This is human — we're not all perfect matches. But if your cuff is expressing themselves openly and honestly, the best thing you can offer them is the same — be honest about where you are at. Hinting is a waste of your time, and you'll feel better if you tell it like it is.
