Dating apps are great and all, but let's be real — sometimes the small talk can start to feel like a black hole. The conversation is flowing, but most of us aren't looking for pen-pals... am I right? More than a week of idle chit-chat without a date can feel like the ultimate dating purgatory. If you're looking for messages to send your bumble match in the hopes of kickstarting a IRL meeting, I totally feel you.
It goes without saying that in this day and age, going after what you want regardless of gender norms is exactly how things should be. That being said, a platform giving the initial contact power to women presents an interesting dilemma. In my opinion, if you've already put yourself out there by initiating contact, the normal doubts someone might have about your interest levels shouldn't be so high that they aren't able to ask you out. But of course, when it comes to dating, there's only so much you can figure out without meeting face to face.
If you aren't ready to throw in the towel and have a hunch that something could be there then there are some messages you can send to give them another nudge in the right direction.
1. All This Chatter Is Making Me Think Maybe We Should Meet Up Sometime [Emoji]
OK, OK, this is basically doing the heavy lifting for them, but some people need to feel 100 percent certain they aren't going to be rejected before they ask someone out. And this doesn't necessarily mean they are insecure — perhaps just cautious. However, if they are still being wishy-washy after a message as direct as this, then bye.
2. So What Are You Up To This Weekend?
I know, this seems uninventive, but if you're not sure why they're stalling, sometimes it's a good idea to keep things simple and transparent. And on a side note, always remember — emojis are your best friend. A witty emoji combo that gets them chuckling can make all the difference.
3. I've Really Been Wondering If Your Bedroom Eyes Are Just As Intense In Person ;)
So maybe they don't really have bedroom eyes... but hey, an embellished compliment here and there never hurt anyone. Compliments are oftentimes just the boost a person might need to put themselves out there. The nice thing about this approach is that it can also be tailored to other characteristics. Thanks to my curly afro, I used to get different variations of "I'd love to use your hair as pillow sometime, those curls are on point" and it always made me LOL.
4. Thinking Of Checking Out [Fill In The Blank], If Only I Had A Partner In Crime [Emoji]
This is another example of a message that is making it very clear that you want a date, and you want it now. The good thing about this approach is that the ball is in your court on where to meet (i.e., a new exhibit, show, movie, bar, restaurant). This can totally be use to your advantage by proposing an environment that you know you're most comfortable in and to show them you'e idea of fun.
In the end, there is no way for you to get someone to do something they aren't ready or interested in doing. First dates are pretty low-risk, so if they still aren't taking the hint, then don't sweat it — there are a ton of fish in the sea just waiting to be caught.
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