Going out on dates is fun and exciting, albeit somewhat nerve-wracking as well. But whether it's your first date with someone new, or you've been seeing this person for a few weeks — when the relationship hasn't been defined, it can be confusing. In today's world, it can be hard to tell if someone wants an actual relationship or just a fling. So if you need to know what's going through their head, there are definitely things you’ll notice if your date wants something serious. They might not tell you straight-up that they're looking for commitment, but there are ways you can tell that are expert-approved.
"If your date is looking for a serious relationship, this person may or may not actually put that into words," psychotherapist and relationship expert Denise Limongello tells Elite Daily. "Some people are vocal about wanting a relationship, while others are more subtle and their actions are the indicators that they're looking for something serious."
Just because the person you're dating hasn't said that they want a real, honest-to-goodness relationship doesn't mean that they don't want one, but maybe they're more reserved in saying what they're looking for. But worry not: There's nothing wrong with that, and there are still ways for you to tell.
If your date keeps making plans for more dates with you, especially way off into the future, it's a pretty clear sign that they want to make things more official and serious. "For the most part, people who are serious about you will often be future-oriented in their language," Limongello says.
"For instance, your date might suggest date-night activities that he or she might like to take you on at a later time. If your date suggests future plans that never seem to happen, it may mean your date is all talk and not necessarily looking for anything serious. If your date follows through with actually booking and organizing these dates, that might mean that they're looking for something serious."
Pay attention to their language, because it might be saying more than you think.
While your date might not spell out that they want a serious relationship, their honesty and willingness to be open about themselves (and their curiosity about you!) might indicate what they really want.
"When someone is looking for love, they're willing to be vulnerable," Limongello says. "Thus, if your date is vocal about being interested in you, it might mean your date is serious about getting to know you better, and possibly building a relationship."
Listen, there is absolutely nothing wrong with coming right out and letting your date know that you want a serious relationship, and vice versa. "If your date is interested in a serious relationship he/she will say this," Heather Kristian Strang, spiritual matchmaker, tells Elite Daily. "Once you reach a point where you are ready for long-term partnership, you aren't into playing games and will make this known — often even before the date takes place."
At the end of the day, you have to do what feels right for you. Even if your date is exhibiting all of these signs and you're sure they want a serious relationship, you don't have to address it if you don't want to. "If someone is talking about getting serious with you and has only spent a few evenings with you, it could possibly be a red flag," Limongello explains. "Go with your gut on when it feels appropriate to talk to your date about getting serious." Maybe they could be the one, or at least someone special, but that doesn't mean you have to dive in before you're ready.
