3 Texting Clues Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend Is Cheating, According To A Relationship Expert

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I can't count the times I've over-analyzed a text thread, attempted to decipher what a text "really means," or detected a problem in a relationship from a weird text. Since we all send a zillion texts a day, a lot of interaction with our nearest and dearest happens over text. If you're in a relationship, texting with your bae is likely a consistent part of your day. If your honey suddenly stops texting you when they get home from work or when they wake up in the morning, could these be texting clues your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you?

I spoke to Elle Huerta, CEO and founder of breakup app Mend, about this and she emphasizes that texting isn't the most clear way to communicate with your partner. She says, "Texting is missing a lot of the context that an in-person conversation has— eye contact, body language, the tone of voice. So it's only one piece of the puzzle." If you suspect your partner has feelings for another person or is unhappy with your relationship, your text thread with them can offer you clues. So while it could be helpful to take a magnifying glass to your partner's latest emoji choices, Huerta suggests the best thing to do if you suspect your partner is cheating on you is to check in with your gut.

Huerta says, "Your gut is a built-in mechanism that has evolved to keep you safe, and it's important to listen to your inner compass if something feels off. " And of course, you can communicate your concerns and suspicions to your boo over text, but we all know that texts can be misinterpreted, so consider talking to them IRL instead. Huerta agrees, "If you feel like something is off or different based on your text convos, it's a clear sign that you should talk about it in person." So if you notice any of the below changes in your text habits with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it might be time to have a face-to-face chat about what's really going on.

If The Timing Changes

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Let's say your boyfriend or girlfriend used to text you before bed with a sweet good night message, but suddenly start texting you the next morning saying they "fell asleep sorry.” Or they usually text you when they get off work, or first thing in the morning, or when they're on their lunch break. If there's a sudden change in the usual timing of texts throughout the day, that could mean something has disrupted or changed your bae's day or schedule. This is not necessarily another person, but it could be worth checking in with them to see what's up.

If The Frequency Changes

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In the early stages of your romance, you probably texted back and forth with your honey all day long, and sometimes even all night long. Now that you've settled into a relationship, the frequency of your texts might have settled down, too. But if there's a sudden drop off in communication from your partner, that could mean something's going on with them. An increase in texting frequency is also something to note— if your babe is suddenly sending you texts all day long, they could be overcompensating for something.

If The Tone Changes

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If I get a terse, perfunctory text from a friend who's usually flowery, cutesy, and emoji-hapy with her texts, I instantly wonder if they're mad at me. So if your partner suddenly stops calling you "babe" in texts, it might catch your eye. If you usually have conversational texts with your partner but they suddenly become transactional, like, "Din res is 8:15," that also could be something that feels odd to you. A change in tone could mean a change in attitude towards you, so take note if this happens with your partner.

While these changes in texting are not a guarantee that something fishy is going on with your partner, they are notable changes in their communication with you, so it's worth bringing them up. Again, the best indication that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you will be your intuition, so even if none of these texting red flags occur, don't forget to listen to your gut.

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