28 Funny Valentine's Day Captions, No Matter The Stage Of Your Relationship

Valentine's Day can be many things. It can be fun, sexy, and exciting. But it can also be stressful and hectic, especially if it's your first V-Day with a new boo. What do you get them? How much should you spend? Do you stay in or deal with the crowds at nice restaurants? It can be a lot to think about all at once, but don't let the logistics of this popular lovers' holiday scare you off and stop you from having a great time. You and your Valentine deserve a good day, and whether you're five years in or five months, these funny Valentine's Day captions will certainly cheer you up and (hopefully) get you through the holiday.

You may not want to be that couple — the one who posts every minute of your Valentine's Day in all its mushy, gushy glory, because that may be a little bit over the top. If you do though, you do you. When you do post, whether it's on Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat, you may want a sweet caption. But why not go a different route and choose a hilarious one instead? Poke fun at each other (or yourself) or use one of the funny quotes below. That cute moment you're sharing with your followers, paired with a funny punchline or dry humor will work quite nicely, no matter how many Valentine's Days you've spent together (or even if you haven't DTF — Defined The Relationship — yet).

1. "You can't put a price tag on love. But if you could, I'd wait for it to go on sale." — Hussein Nishah

2. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." — Charles M. Schulz

3. "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" — Unknown

4. "Are you a beaver, because DAM." — Unknown

5. "Love is being stupid together." — Paul Valery

6. "One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry." — Oscar Wilde


7. "Words cannot espresso what you mean to me." — Unknown

8. "Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone." — Lewis Black

9. "Happy Valentine's Day to myself. I love you." — Unknown

10. "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." — Richard Jeni

11. "Roses are red. Violet are blue. Keep the flowers. I'd rather have shoes." — Unknown

12. "Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all." — Jimmy Fallon


13. "[Love is] hiding who you are at all times. It's wearing make-up to bed and going downstairs to Burger King to poop." 30 Rock

14. "Love is being able to fart in front of the other person." — Unknown

15. "I love you as much as Kanye loves Kanye." — Unknown

16. "I'd press pause on my favorite song for you." — Unknown

17. "Valentine's Day: the one day where I can sit at home, eat chocolate and drink wine without judgement." — Unknown

18. "Everyone's posting all these anti-Valentine's Day pics and I'm just over here like 'Lindor dark chocolate truffles will be 50 percent off on the 15th." — Unknown


19. "Dear Cupid, forget the man, just send wine." — Unknown

20. "I know being single on Valentine's Day can suck, but it's so much better than dating some idiot." — Unknown

21. "What am I allergic to?" "Pine nuts. And the full spectrum of human emotion." — The Proposal

22. "I'm going to spend Valentine's Day with me true love... Food." — Unknown

23. "Roses are red. Violets are blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two." — Unknown

24. "I also like you when I'm not drunk." — Unknown


25. "Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there." — George Burns

26. "If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something." — Fran Lebowitz

27. "I'm your density. I mean, your destiny."Back To The Future

28. "My funny valentine... you make me smile with my heart. Your looks are laughable, un-photographable, yet, you're my favorite work of art." — Ella Fitzgerald, "Funny Valentine"