15 Messages To Use When Sliding Into Someone’s DMs For The First Time

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For hundreds of years, lovers sent romantic notes via carrier pigeon. Then they communicated through romantic telegrams. But these days, modern romance is all about Instagram's Direct Message feature. A little less poetic, the Insta-inbox is an accessible, low-key way of reaching out to a crush, whether that's to bring your sexual chemistry to fruition or let them know you have feelings for them. But with great power comes great responsibility, and sometimes, you might be at a loss as to what to say when sliding into someone’s DMs.

Shan Boodram, a sexologist, intimacy expert, and author of The Game of Desire, previously told Elite Daily that the key to becoming more than friends is to be a master at picking up on your crush's cues. "Healthy intimacy is taking one small step, seeing if that person takes that step with you, and then waiting to see if they take the lead next," Boodram said. That being said, here are 15 messages you can DM your crush to test the waters, take that first small step, and let them know you're feeling them.

Wholesome Conversation Starters

1. I feel like I've been picking up on some flirty vibes between us lately. 😏

2. You've been absolutely killing it with your looks lately. Don't think no one's noticed!

3. I saw this post the other day and it made me think of you.

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4. So, I don't think I've seen a significant other in any of your IG posts. Is it safe to say I have a chance? 🤔

5. Um, why do you look so good all the time?

6. If you like all my pictures so much, then you should see my number.

Sexy Conversation Starters

7. OK, honestly, why are you so hot?

8. So, I've been having a couple of spicy daydreams about you lately... do you want to hear them? ☁️

9. Seriously, you've been looking fine AF lately and I just thought you should know.

10. Listen, I just want to say that your thirst traps are definitely working!

11. I'm not super great at starting sexy conversations. Maybe you can give it a try? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Straight-Up Ask Them Out

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12. Reply to their Instagram Story: 😍OK, you look so hot in this and it's got me thinking. What are you doing next weekend?

13. Do you think asking someone out in the DMs is cool or not? Asking for a friend.

14. So, I heard you're looking for something to do this holiday. 👀 I can think of a few things if you don't have plans.

15. I heard [insert an artist that you both love] is coming to town next month. Wanna go with me?

If your crush just posted to their feed or story, what are you waiting for? Start drafting that DM, and good luck!


Shan Boodram, sexologist, intimacy expert, and author of The Game of Desire

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