One of the reasons I love hanging out with my SO is because we're both a couple of weirdos. Normally, I have to pretend to be a normal, mature human adult, but when I'm with my partner, the facade drops and we act like the true goofballs we are, together. It’s awesome. Among the many, many strange things we like to do is make up songs… about our cats… sung by our cats… So, yeah, we're a bit odd. We’re also not alone. In a recent Reddit thread, people reveal the weirdest things they do with their SO — and guess what? It turns out, behind closed doors, we’re all just a bunch of weirdos talking to (and as) our cats (in voices we've made up for them, sigh). Not to mention rubbing our butts all over each other. (No, stay with me… that's definitely a thing.)
Since all these stories are just too good not to share (seriously, this may really be my favorite Reddit thread ever), here are more than a dozen confessions people revealed about the weirdest things they do with their partners when no one else is around to see. Get ready to laugh a lot.
We narrate our dogs in different accents. He does a French accent for our male dog and I do a Spanish accent for our female dog (no idea why those were picked, it just kinda happened)
We both got equally excited about shopping for sweaters for the cat. I think I broke him. His kid started calling the cat her “brother.” What have I done.
sometimes after holding hands my partner will shake my hand and say something dumb like “a solid business transaction, put her there” in her best impression of a businessman. she thinks it’s funny to do the same thing with my erect penis whenever we’re in the shower together. I do not find it as funny.
We wrote our names on the wall by sticking our marker pens in our belly buttons and swinging to write.
Sometimes we lift up our shirts and put our nipples together(she's shorter than me so she has to lift her boobs up and squeeze them together so our nipples line up) and we close our eyes and go "wom wom wom wom". That's how aliens have sex.
Sometimes my SO and I will do this competitive thing where we scream into eachother's mouths to see who can last. It's like a weird sort of open mouth kiss and we stare bug-eyed at the other as we do. We mostly do this in front of friends when we want to get a cheap laugh. I always initiate it.
We compete for First Boop of the Day (but neither bed boops nor car boops count because bed boops are too easy and car boops are dangerous), and we have competed for First Boop of the Year (FBotY). (Edit: a boop is when you poke a nose softly with your index finger). FBotY is very important & prestigious — if you lose First Boop, you have to wait til next year for a chance — no best 2 out of 3 or any of that nonsense. I have won FBotY 4 out of 6 years that we have been playing.
For whatever reason, we wanted to see whose mouth could hold more liquid. She filled her mouth with as much water as possible and baby-birded it into mine - mine was bigger. The people at Panera thought we were weird.
We waxed each others butts with a home waxing kit. We just wanted to know what waxing was like so we bought a kit at Walgreens and really went crazy with it. As weird as it sounds, it was actually kind of a sweet moment between us. We hadn’t even been together a full year yet and I had never been so intimate and vulnerable with another person before. But he didn’t make fun of me or make me feel gross, he just did it. Then I repaid the favor and we both enjoyed our smooth butts together. I remember feeling so comfortable with him after that, like I could trust him with anything.
Sliding our soapy wet butts against each other when we shower together. Do it. It's f*cking awesome.
We've been married for 4 years, every night after we are done cuddling and turn opposite ways to sleep we press our butts together and make kissing noises. Like our butts are kissing each other goodnight.
My husband and I have a ritual where every night after he gets out of the shower he approaches me naked and allows me to cup his balls for 10-30 seconds. It's completely non-sexual and I can’t even remember when we started it.. but it's a nightly occurrence now and I get upset if he doesnt let me :)
Every night for close to 8 years now, I rattle the light on the nightstand, and my wife makes a completely absurd face and I turn the light off. There are a lot of nights where we giggle about how odd she can make her face look. I won’t turn the light off until a face is made.
We live in a time where it feels harder and harder to relate to our neighbors. Sometimes it’s just good to remember that, behind closed doors, we’re all just a bunch of butt-rubbing, face-making, nose-booping weirdos.
