I'd like to think I'm too big a person to subtweet but LOL, who am I kidding? I have been subtweeting f*ckboys who've ghosted me for years. It's basically a passion of mine, which is how I've managed to like and retweet tons of hilarious tweets about being single. It's 50 percent catharsis, 50 percent rage, and 100 percent cheaper than therapy.
Seriously, is there anything more satisfying than tweeting about another Friday night at home by yourself while watching Netflix? OK, fine, maybe having someone to go out with would be just as satisfying but we can't all have what Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have. And even they shade each other on Twitter.
I remember the days when we would complain about people airing their dirty laundry in dramatic, status updates on Facebook:
Oh, you broke up with your boyfriend again? Who could've seen this coming? I thought for sure, this — the 13th time — would have been the one to stick.
Yup, that's right. We were full of sass, quick to judge. But look at us now, having public meltdowns on Twitter because we didn't get a text back. I think this is called the circle of life but if anyone knows how I can GTFO of this feedback loop, please let me know. Until then, I'll be on Twitter complaining about that guy who super-liked me on Tinder. Why? Oh, because his bio politely explains that blondes with blue eyes drive him wild. And I am neither.
K, Chad*, do your thing. Here's how the rest of Twitter is handling the dating scene.