13 Dirty Texts To Send Bae On Easter That’ll Make Them Use God’s Name In Vain

Growing up Catholic meant that Easter was always a fairly big deal, especially since I attended Catholic school for most of my life. On the plus side, we always got a four-day weekend that included Good Friday, Glorious Saturday, Easter Sunday, and Easter Monday. The flip side, though, is that I think I'm suffering from Catholic guilt after coming up with 13 dirty texts to send on Easter. Somehow, this feels worse than not having been to church since before they changed the congregation's response from "And also with you," to "And with your spirit," when the priest says, "Peace be with you."

Easter commemorates the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, three days after he was crucified. Easter Sunday (and all other Sundays for that matter) is a holy day of obligation, which means that Catholics are required to attend mass on this day. It is also very common to go to church on Good Friday and Glorious Saturday.

Like most holidays though, Easter is now just as secular as it is religious. So if you're not Catholic, it's probably more about chocolate bunnies and Easter egg hunts than it is about Bible passages. Turns out, Jesus Christ and the Easter Bunny are not related at all. The latter was created purely for commercial reasons, which is NBD unless you're Hugh Hefner (who threw outrageous Easter parties) or you're just not religious.

Either way, I came up with 13 dirty Easter texts to send to your partner that range from, "Give thanks to our lord and savior Jesus Christ," all the way to "Why are Kinder Eggs illegal in the U.S.?"