13 Dirty Texts To Send On Easter That’ll Make Your Partner Use God’s Name In Vain
Growing up Catholic meant that Easter was always a fairly big deal, especially since I attended Catholic school for most of my life. On the plus side, we always got a four-day weekend that included Good Friday, Glorious Saturday, Easter Sunday, and Easter Monday. The flip side, though, is that I think I'm suffering from Catholic guilt after coming up with 13 dirty texts to send on Easter. Somehow, this feels worse than not having been to church since before they changed the congregation's response from "And also with you," to "And with your spirit," when the priest says, "Peace be with you."
Easter commemorates the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, three days after he was crucified. Easter Sunday (and all other Sundays for that matter) is a holy day of obligation, which means that Catholics are required to attend mass on this day. It is also very common to go to church on Good Friday and Glorious Saturday.
Like most holidays though, Easter is now just as secular as it is religious. So if you're not Catholic, it's probably more about chocolate bunnies and Easter egg hunts than it is about Bible passages. Turns out, Jesus Christ and the Easter Bunny are not related at all. The latter was created purely for commercial reasons, which is NBD unless you're Hugh Hefner (who threw outrageous Easter parties) or you're just not religious.
Either way, I came up with 13 dirty Easter texts to send to your partner that range from, "Give thanks to our lord and savior Jesus Christ," all the way to "Why are Kinder Eggs illegal in the U.S.?"
1I gave up sex for Lent but now that that's over with...
2Jesus died for our sins so we're pretty much obligated to hook up.
3Even after the third time, I rise again.
4I know it's Good Friday but we can make it great.
5Are you up for a really glorious Saturday?
6Why don't you come over and try my hot cross buns?
7Want to go on an Easter egg hunt? Here's your first clue. [Insert photo of your ruffled bedsheets here.]
8In the spirit of Easter, let's do what bunnies do.
9Happy Easter! You know what else looks good covered in chocolate?
10I got a bunny costume just for today. Want to see it?
11Is that an Easter egg in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
12How do you feel about cream eggs? Want to try mine?
13The Easter Bunny couldn't make it this year but he still sent something sweet for you — me.
While you're off doing whatever it is you're doing — something dirty with Peeps, probably — I'll be at church confessing my sin of writing this article. Oops. Happy Easter!
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