Relationships
12 Women Reveal Signs Their Significant Others Were Falling Out Of Love With Them
by Candice Jalili
If falling in love is heaven, falling out of love has to be hell. Of course, it's not hell truly hell for the person who's falling out of love in the relationship. No, the true torture is for the person who's trying to decide whether or not the person who once loved them so still has those same feelings. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies share their personal experiences of living through this hell by recounting the signs of falling out of love they saw in their own partners.
Read along and grab a tissue, this is going to be a sad one.
He stopped talking about the future.
He stopped talking about our future, when we used to talk about it all the time.
He was visibly annoyed by her presence.
He started to act annoyed by my presence. He stopped singing me to sleep, he didn't want to celebrate holidays with me, and what hurt most is he would ignore me when he knew I was having a bad day. I was more of a burden than a girlfriend. The way he loved me at the end (or lack thereof) has affected how I view other men. I hate that its like that now, but when you give someone your whole heart and they crush it, it makes you rethink everything.
Bedtime snuggles became a thing of the past.
Instead of bedtime snuggles, it was his back to me.Would go to bed right after dinner.Started turning his phone to vibrate, or off, and hid it.Stopped talking much at dinner outside of basic questions and answers.Didn't want sex anymore, or if we did, it was short and to the point.Didn't want to 'work on it', at all. Zero interest when brought up that something was obviously wrong.No interest in holidays, birthdays, weekend trips, nothing.Basically, he completely detached from me, family life, etc.Found out he was transferring assets, making purchases, shopping for a new home, and oh yeah, dating someone else for an entire six months before separation. I knew none of it until the bitter end.
He became apathetic.
Becoming apathetic: not caring about cancelling plans with me, not caring about eating meals with me, not caring about acknowledging when I walked into the room. If I pushed it, he'd become kind of impatient and annoyed. One guy was more angry-annoyed than the other. The other was more exasperated-annoyed. I felt like Mom and Dad made my older teenage sibling babysit me when they really just wanted to go to a party with their friends. Like I didn't do anything wrong except remind them of a responsibility. Feels terrible and like the more I try to interact with them, the more they dislike me.
She would snap at small things.
She started acting like it was an imposition any time I wanted to do something together. She'd snap at me over the tiniest things. She didn't want to cuddle after sex anymore. For years we cuddled every night before we went to sleep, but the last few months she'd always be "in the middle of something" at our usual bedtime. She actively took a day off work to see her friends but I had to ask her to take a day off for our anniversary...Basically, if your SO stops acting like they want to spend time with you, it's time to worry.
"I love you" suddenly became a source of tension.
Didn't acknowledge my birthday, refused to say I love you first. Started to refuse saying "I love you too" in return.
He became less physically affectionate.
Less physical affection, he went from holding me in his sleep to sleeping with his back to me. Barely said hi when I came home, stopped kissing me good bye to work. When I was upset he went from talking me through it to ignoring me, I also felt like it was a burden. We went from talking about our future together to him talking about his goals without me. He mocked me a lot. He still wanted sex but not loving affection. Pretty much stopped caring if I enjoyed sex. Stopped holding my hand, less affectionate in public, when we went out together he'd ditch me lol. He essentially told me that my sadness was annoying.
He was no longer turned on by her.
He stopped having sex with me. Nothing I would do would turn him on. His search history showed that he would wait for me to leave the house then watch porn and jack off. He would forget plans we made to hang out with his friends. He forgot my birthday and Valentine's day. Mind you, this was after 2 years together and we lived together. And then, to top it all off, he was blown away with shock when I broke up with him.
She stopped looking at her with love in her eyes.
I watched the warmth and adoration leave her eyes and be replace with a cold empty stare whenever she looked at me. She also told me she would rather be in an unloving relationship than be alone, which was a crimson flag.
Her calls went ignored.
He never had any time to speak to me. Called me by my full name. Stopped bothering to respond to my messages.
He started picking dumb fights.
He started picking fights for absolutely no reason. For example, one Friday night we were planning on going out to this particular restaurant. I asked him to call ahead to make a reservation since I knew it would be busy, and he said he didn’t want to, and just wanted to show up to the restaurant. I told him we should plan ahead in case there was a long wait (which there usually was), and he got upset and started screaming at me. He would turn small situations like that into huge problems and just completely escalate them. After a while I figured out that he was trying to get me to break up with him so that he wouldn’t have to do it. It was because he started hanging out with another girl and I guess he wanted a clean break up? Well, it ended up being incredibly messy and full of drama and caused a lot of our friends to choose sides.
Things they used to enjoy together suddenly became annoying.
In my experience it's when the things that you used to enjoy about each other now cause annoyance and tension. You actively avoid spending time with them. At the end of one of my last relationships, we had moved to a new city and began having opposite work schedules. I was full of internal joy that I would get home and have the place to myself and would be asleep by the time he got home. One night as I sat reading a book by myself I realized how backwards and unhealthy this all was. We broke up 3 weeks later.
Now, these stories are all pretty daunting but we have to remember that relationships are unique. At the end of the day, your partner may do all of these things and still be totally in love with you. On the flip side, your partner may do none of these things and be falling out of love with you.
The only real barometer for whether or not they've fallen out of love is your own gut. Listen closely and trust what it tells you.
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