11 Secret Single Behaviors People Would Never Want Their Partners To See
In high school, I remember seeing quotes like, "Character is what you do when no one is watching" etched across motivational posters, and I was horrified. The things I did (and do) when no one is watching were often embarrassing, grotesque, and — to quote my brother-in-law — plebeian, and I didn't want my character to be any of those things. Fortunately, I'm not alone. Everyone has their own bizarre, indulgent rituals (or Secret Single Behaviors, as Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw dubbed them), and I don't think they're as character-defining as those classroom posters made me believe.
After Carrie moved in with boyfriend Aidan, she mourned the loss of her "SSB" time — which, in her case, included eating stacks of crackers with grape jelly while standing and reading fashion magazines.
That's cute, Carrie. I like to coat my entire body in coconut oil (the end goal is that my skin will feel somewhere between that of a baby human's and a baby eel's), chug off-label Chardonnay from the bottle, and listen to whale sounds. Oh, and sometimes I have full conversations with myself in French ("What's that? I've still got it? Oh thanks, self!"). To each her own!
Not everyone talks to themselves in foreign languages, but we've certainly all got something to hide — a clandestine habit (or two, or three) that we hope is never seen by anyone but our own reflections and a deity. Some are silly, some are gross, and all are done in the dark of night. Here, 11 brave men and women confess to their secret single behaviors.
Honestly, this is pretty smart.
— Meghan*, 22
I like to call this "towel time," and it's sacred.
— Hannah, 24
Who doesn't have a beloved secret mouthguard?
Those rogue hairs were never meant to see the light of day.
— Annalise*, 24
Guys gotta pluck, too.
This one reminds me of The Lizzie McGuire Movie.
— Sabrine, 23
OK, this is basically my nightly routine, and I hope I never get caught.
— Alice, 24
Sometimes you've got an itch only you can scratch.
Charlotte on SATC did the same thing before her nuptials.
— Cindy*, 26
No judgment here, girl.
Dogs are basically royalty, anyway.
— Zack*, 26
Bonus: No one needs to see that cat eye coming undone.
— Kristie, 24
To quote Ms. Bradshaw, "It's weird, but it just feels great." Amen to that!
*Names have been changed. Quotes have been edited and condensed for clarity.
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