11 Red Flags On The First Few Dates To Look Out For, As Told By Real Women

by Candice Jalili

It can be hard to accept someone's less-than-great true colors when you have strong feelings for them. The funny thing is that they usually show you red flags in the very beginning, when you're still blinded by lust. Of course it's easy to brush off even the most obvious red flags on the first few dates when you're still excited about getting to know this new person, but oftentimes, this really is your best chance to get to know the real them. So even if you don't want to, it's important to pay attention to those deal breaker behaviors early. In a recent Reddit thread, women shared red flags on the first few dates that they're always on the look out for. Read them and take them to heart — it may keep you from getting hurt later on.

They can't take "no" for an answer.

Ignoring small rejections. If he won't listen to "no" (however softly it's delivered) when he's out in public, has all his clothes on, and doesn't have an erection he's definitely not going to listen to "no" if/when any of those circumstances change.


They make insensitive jokes.

Making generalizations or 'jokes' about groups of people, like by gender, race, etc.


They're jealous.

If he shows any signs of being the jealous type, peace out.


They don't handle differences of opinion well.

I would always look closely at the way someone handled a difference of opinion about stuff like movies, music, books, etc. For example, I went on a date with a guy and we were talking about our favorite TV shows. I told him that mine was Buffy, and he decided to start watching it. I didn't care that he didn't like it - not everyone likes the same things. It did bother me that he made fun of me for liking it. If that's how he acted with a difference of opinion over something that really doesn't matter, then I can't imagine what he would have been like had we disagreed on something more important.


They blindly agree with everything you say.

avoids answering directly when i ask about their likes and dislikes, paired with seeming to agree with everything i say.


They aren't comfortable doing their own thing.

Signs of being needy or clingy.


They call their exes "crazy."

Any mention of a "crazy ex".


They do any of these five things.

The 5 A's: Abuse (Big Red Flags: Jealousy, Selfishness, Excuses) Anger Apathy Addiction Arrogance


They don't have good manners with other people.

How they treat other people, so if they're rude, cold, or aggressive toward someone other than myself it's a red flag. Obviously, if they treated me like that I wouldn't be seeing them in the first place. If a guy isn't open about answering questions about himself (not so much the very personal stuff), but the usual getting to know you questions. Also, when a guy jumps straight into relationship territory too quickly or is needy/clingy.


They don't treat people in the service industry well.

How they treat retail and food service workers. If they can't show respect, I'm out.


They aren't respectful of your time.

If he doesn't respect my time- cancelling multiple times, especially at the last minute, or trying to make plans when it's past 5 on the day of. Bonus points for the early-on booty call attempt.
Also if he seems to be all about my body when he compliments me, it bugs me a bit. I want to be complimented for things I actually worked on. My body's fine, I guess, but I haven't put a ton of work into it, it's just sort of like this.
And as another commenter said, if he ignores or overrides small refusals or saying no to small things.


Do yourself a favor and take these pieces of wisdom to heart before your next first date. Why waste years of your life in a relationship with someone who actually showed you their true colors on the first date?

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