If I were to guess what gift men would like to receive most come Valentine's Day, it would involve that exact word: "to come." Sex. Forking. Whatever want to call it. However, if I guessed that, then I would be generalizing quite a bit about men, and that would be uncool because I dislike when men assume that stereotypes about women are true. So... moot point. What even are perfect Valentine's Day gifts for men? Do they even exist?
See, I don't believe that perfect Valentine' Day gifts for women really exist, either. Most of us don't want any sort of present, just some love and affection. (I actually polled Reddit and this hypothesis held true.) I can't imagine that a good old BJ would be turned down by many men of the world, but again, we're not generalizing, so I'm going to stick to research and head to Reddit to uncover the facts... or, more accurately, unfiltered opinions.
If you're not sure what the wonderful man (or men) of your life would like to receive this V-Day, I have some good news: they probably don't want anything. To confirm, here are replies from 10 men on Reddit about what they're hoping for this Feb. 14:
1. For You To Be Grateful For Whatever They Give You
"Whatever else you give him, the best thing might be no pressure and your genuine enthusiasm or appreciation for what he gives you. V day is weird for guys." —TotallyNotMarkHamill
Touché. Very wise. Are you sure you're not Mark Hamill?
2. For You To Say Nice Things
"Guys don't always want something back. What we care most about is that you appreciate what we have done for you. Tell him how romantic this is and how wonderful of a time you are having and be affectionate towards him and just make him feel loved, like he done good. For me, if I was to do this for someone for Valentines day. I would expect my girlfriend to give me a high five when we walked into the hotel room say 'we are going to have sex in every inch of this room'. Then just have a blast being with each other and enjoying the vacation." —frostcutlery
So be nice to them, but also... sex.
3. A Partner To Hang With
"Someone to spend time with." —[deleted]
I feel you. Tinder?
4. A Fellow Skipper
"I'd just love for her to say 'I hate valentines day, it's a stupid commercial holiday and we are not going to celebrate it. Ever.'" — [deleted]
This is an easy gift to give, because Valentine's Day means nothing.
"I'm a little weird so here goes. Valentine's Day is a day I'd spend doting on my SO. For her to spend ANY time making me feel like the center of her universe on a day where I'm supposed to shower her with love and gifts is fantastic. Breakfast in bed, hugs, little gifts, crazy sex anything that shows I mean the world to her goes a looooong way. I want to feel like I'm the most important person in her world for just one day. I want her to treat me like she's the luckiest person to have ever walked the Earth. Do that and I can guarantee that he'll appreciate it and love you forever" —chopmeatsandwich
Well, I guess this sandwich really just wants you to dote on all day on V-Day too, which is fair. And a little weird. (He said it first!)
6. Flowers, Bro
"Um...I... I like flowers :3" —[deleted]
Stereotypes are fake news!
7. Something He Hasn't Asked You For
"Anything he's been asking you to do to him that you've not been interested in? Maybe sexually, maybe not. Oh and sexual acts can definitely be a gift. No objectification about it. I personally don't like receiving tangible gifts. Give me a good meal and good night together (little bdsm always cuts the cake) any day." —[deleted]
So, cake or sex? Cake-sex? Cake and sex?
8. Something Meaningful
"I can't speak for anyone else but, now that I've resigned myself to the fact that my girlfriend will be giving me presents no matter how much I insist she doesn't have to, I would say that I prefer to get something meaningful. I don't want a video game or DVD that just about anyone could buy me. I want something thoughtful, that she bought because she just knew I'd like it as soon as she saw it." —sociable-sociopath
Fair point. Meaning is greater than value, IMO and apparently, this guy's too!
"steak & a blowjob." —thebornotaku
You knew this was coming...
10. A Burger
"Treat him to a good burger and beer. Father's office in Santa Monica has an excellent burger and great beer/wine selection." —joeytshirt
This is LA-specific but not male-specific, because I can vouch for Father's Office's burgers (except I think I went to one in Culver City) and I would totally be pleased with a V-Day gift of a burger and a beer there. It's the little things.
There you have it! Men and women all want the same things: food, love, affection, quality time, and maybe some sex. Don't stress the big day, because it seems to me that most of us are over V-Day. Have fun!
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