Cheaters never prosper, but they can certainly break your heart. When you hear stories about cheating, it usually seems pretty obvious who's in the wrong. But people are complicated, and so is infidelity. A partner who steps out on you may have any number of reasons for doing so. They could be feeling neglected. They could have feelings of unworthiness from childhood that compel them to avoid intimacy. They could have an addiction to sex. They could do it simply because they want to, and they think they can get away with it. Do any of these explanations help soften the blow of being cheated on? No, probably not.
Even when you don't have all the answers, you probably at least know this: Getting cheating on hurts. A partner's infidelity may not reflect on your worth as a partner or person, but it can definitely make you feel pretty alone. After a Reddit user posed the question, "How did you catch your significant other cheating on you?" on an AskReddit thread, hundreds of people responded to share their stories about discovering an unfaithful partner. If you've ever experienced a cheating SO yourself, then these tales of two-timing partners may help to remind you that you're not alone.
This High School Heartbreaker
I was 17 and he was my first boyfriend. I wasn't going to sleep with him and told him as much, so he was having sex with a girl who I knew from church youth group in his car before he would come hang out with me. She wanted him all to herself so she showed me the messages. I was dumb and didn't believe her because this wasn't the first time she had stirred up drama like this. Sure enough, his car was outside the church in the back corner of the parking lot and he was waiting for her.
Although, TBH, I was mostly just dating him because I hadn't been kissed yet and was tired of waiting for someone I could see myself falling in love with. I was more angry over the humiliation of being cheated on than because I loved him.
This Uneasy Eavesdrop
Came home from work, heard her upstairs in the bathroom with the door closed talking. Yelled hello and she yelled down she was talking to her mom on the (cordless) phone. Then closed the bathroom door again. She had been acting secretive and something just felt off. Went into the bedroom and closed the door. The cordless phone base was there. Hit mute then speaker and hear her talking to a guy about when I work next and they can hook up.
This More-Than-Work Friend
My girlfriend started working with and talking about this girl, and inviting the girl and her GF to go to dinner with us. We went on a double date with this couple a few times over the course of 3 weeks, and I noticed every time we were all 4 out, my girlfriend would drink much more heavily than usual. We were having them over for dinner one Sunday but had an adult sports game before (which usually involved light drinking) and she was acting super weird about making sure we were home on time and had dinner ready, etc.
That night, after they left, she passed out on the couch next to me. Her Apple watch buzzed, and I glanced over and saw a selfie of this girl. Which was enough to get me to look at her phone (for the first time ever), where I find texts with sexting and details about their hookup. I took screenshots of all of it and sent it to my phone.
I got dressed, texted a friend, packed a backpack, and woke her up by throwing her phone (with those messages open) at her and walking out the door. She groggily sorted it all out and attempted to contact me all night and eventually texted the other girl's GF those screenshots, which I thought was pretty sh*tty. Sort of an 'if I'm going down, you're going down with me.'
This Camping Trip Tryst
He was my first love, [and] we dated for a year and a half. Around the year-and-a-half mark, he was going on a family camping trip with another family. A girl he used to have a crush on — who was dating a friend of mine — was also going. Even though they were just friends, I had this gnawing feeling he still liked her. When I asked if she was still going, he said no. The next day, I'm at a party and the boyfriend of this girl is at the party. I ask where she is and he was like, 'Oh, she went on the camping trip.' Immediately I knew that [my boyfriend] had cheated on me. He wasn't answering my texts, and when he finally came back, he came to my house said he was breaking up with me. Then when I asked why, he broke down crying [and] told me that he cheated on me and that he even had sex with her (this was supposed to be a family trip), which led to me screaming profanities at him and never talking to him again after that day.
This Underhanded Houseguest
[A] friend was staying with us for a few weeks while helping us start a business. After a few weeks I suspected... something, but [my partner] was always a person who became overly emotional when [I brought my suspicions] up. I came home 2 days early (the day after Christmas) from a business trip to surprise her. Turns out, I got the surprise. I heard panic in my house as I pulled up. My side of the bed was warm. So was hers. She had actually taken him to her family Christmas party 2 days prior and introduced him as her 'friend.' I publicly shamed her on FB by hacking her password and telling everything. Her family still won't invite him to family functions.
This Suspicious Spending
[I found an] $80 charge to our joint account from a fancy restaurant he took me when we were starting to date. He bragged then about it being a restaurant he 'takes his girls to so he can impress them.' When I saw it pop up, I had a feeling something was up. Coupled, of course, with the fact that he got really nervous when I started asking him about it. He moved in with her within a few weeks after I left him. Good riddance.
This Sleuth For The Truth
Girlfriend of 6 years went out of town with a couple of her girlfriends for a weekend. I decided to check her Facebook profile to see if she posted any new pics or whatever and noticed that this one guy liked almost every status she posted. He never commented.
I was just curious who he was because she never mentioned him. His profile was mostly private, but he had a couple pictures and statuses that I could view. Just figured it was a classmate or something (she's in law school) until I scrolled upon a picture that stood out: It was a pic of his parked car that a hit-and-run driver smacked into overnight while street parked. I almost kept scrolling when something hit me — the background of picture gave me a weird feeling. His car was parked on the street that I recognized because of the brick roads that we have downtown. Upon closer inspection, the reason I recognized it was because it was right outside my girlfriend's house.
When she got back I talked to her about it. Of course, she at first came up with a bullsh*t story about how some friends from school crashed at her place because she lives near downtown and they couldn't drive. I'm not an idiot though, because I know she'd tell me if somebody hit her friend's car outside her house. Eventually she broke down and confessed she'd been cheating for a year. It turned my life inside out.
We had plans to move in a week after I found out and I was going to propose on our anniversary a few weeks after that.
I hopped the f*ck out of the relationship, even though she is still begging to this day for forgiveness.... It's just so weird because of the coincidence I came across this pic, that the pic was even public, and the fact that if the picture was taken a foot closer to the damage, I'd have never known. I just got such a weird feeling from the small amount details I could make out in the background.
This Video Chat Evidence
We went to different universities. He kept looking to his right while on camera with me, and I assumed it was his roommate. He then tells me he has homework to complete. I tell him goodbye, but instead of signing out from Skype, I just turned off my camera. He then sighed and gestured to someone else not in the camera to come to him. A girl comes into the camera, and they were flirting, chatting, eventually kissing while I watched in shock.
This Unwelcome Surprise Visit
She told me our relationship was taking a toll on her studies. We were students. I volunteered to tutor her, but she kept dropping hints she wanted the whole thing to end.
One day she said she was stressed out and wanted to stay at home. I brought her flowers and went to her void deck to surprise her. Saw her coming home from a date with another guy. They were both dressed formally and nicely and she was inviting him up.
Needless to say, 99 roses ended up in the trash that day.
This Wake-Up Call
My girlfriend and her boyfriend drunkenly stumbled into a bedroom and started making out on the bed.
That I was in.
Just remember: Being cheated on says nothing about you as a person and says everything about the person who cheated. You will recover, and you will find someone who you can trust to be faithful.