Donald Trump held a rally in New Hampshire today, donning his "Make America Great Again" hat yet again, which can only mean that the team of hairstylists that constructs his hair bouquet each morning were stuck in traffic.
Anyway, as he was speaking, a woman stood up and asked a question, and she used quite an interesting word in the place of "hijab."
She said,
"Why aren't we putting our retiree, our military retirees on that boarder or in TSA? Get rid of all these hib—heebiejabis they wear at TSA. I've seen them myself!"
Now, luckily for all of you, I am a linguist, so I can help you break down this word she used:
Heebiejabis (n). Definition: "I'm racist."
"Heebie" originates from the latin Heebus meaning "I'm an idiot." And "Jabis" is from the Greek Jabba, meaning "human dingleberry" or, in some translations, "I am eviler than Jabba the Hutt."
The most amazing thing here is that by saying "heebiejabis," she is explaining how "hijabs" make her feel the "heebie jeebies," aka, "weirded out," which is all just a very efficient way to say, "I hate Muslims because they're different."
But let me put this all in a way that this gutter-souled woman might better understand, seeing as words longer than "I'm" and "stupid" are indecipherable to her:
Look, lady, no offense, but I hope that when you die someday, your grandkids shrug it off way too fast because they never really liked you as much as their other grandma.
Oh, and if there are any poltergeists out there, get out of that attic and make yourselves useful; go haunt the shit out of this dumbass.
Journalism!
