"Baby, we can go slow... but I do have to save our entire species."
Dang, with a pick up line like that it's no wonder Diego is getting laid on the regular.
If you're into Chelonoidis hoodensis tortoises then good news, Diego has a crazy sex drive. The 100-year-old, 175-pound tortoise has about 800 children, which is 40 percent of the species.
Chelonoidis hoodensis are found mostly in Espanola, an island in the Galapagos archipelago.
Before Diego graced the island, there were only two males and 12 females. 50 years ago, Diego was returned to the island from the San Diego Zoo.
Now, 2,000 members of the Chelonoidis hoodensis species call it home.
It's like he was saying, "First I'm gonna eat some lettuce, and then I'm gonna steal your girl"
At the breeding center on Santa Cruz Island in the Galapagos, Diego spends his days with six female tortoises. There are two other males there who don't put in the numbers that Diego does, apparently.
These are probably his babies.
In typical patriarchal fashion, Diego is getting all of the credit in saving his species. While the six females are busy laying the eggs, he's just busy laying turtle pipe.
This smug son-of-a-gun is often seen by the barriers of his enclosure, according to his caretaker, so all the guests can bask in his post-sex glow.
You're a legend, Diego.