Metro Nashville PD

This Guy Was Caught In Bed With A Mannequin He Stole From A Lingerie Store

Thursday got you feeling a little down? I'm here to spice it right up with your daily dose of FREAKY NEWS.

Christopher Wade, 55, was arrested in Nashville, Tennessee after cops found him in bed with a mannequin he stole.

But don't worry guys, she was a sexy mannequin he stole from, what I can only assume, is the extremely classy establishment, Hollywood Hustler. The mannequin was worth $5,000 and was sporting a pink spandex dress, rhinestone stilettos and a brown bob. Can you say HOTTIE ALERT?

Workers at the Hollywood Hustler in Nashville called police to report the theft just after midnight.

One worker told the cops that a drunk man (Wade) had walked into the store, grabbed the mannequin, tossed it into the back of a truck and drove off. In the process, the mannequin's left arm was knocked off. Poor baby.

Police traced the man to his home where they found him in bed snoozing snuggled up against his new bae. I mean, honestly. Who needs real women with their annoying brains and beating pulses?

Although your college antics might prove otherwise, drunkenly stealing things that don't belong to you is actually illegal. And Wade is having to learn that the hard way. He was arrested for charges that include theft and remains on an $11,000 bond.

But I know what you're really wondering here. Where is the mannequin, Candice? Tell me! I need to know! Where is it? Is it OK? How is her arm? Hanging on the edge of my seat here!

Do not worry your pretty little hearts, you angels. The mannequin has been taken to the Metro police department where I'm sure she's undergoing rigorous interrogation about the incident.

Just kidding, she's made out of plastic. Nobody is interrogating "her."

But the mannequin really is at the Metro police department.

Citations: Guy steals mannequin, gets caught in bed with it (Metro News)