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Sasha Obama's Real Name Is Not Sasha And America Feels Totally Betrayed

Yes, apparently, Sasha Obama's real name isn't Sasha Obama.

In fact, her name is actually...

*drumroll*

*suspense music*

*violin crescendo*

…Natasha Obama.

REUTERS

Sasha's real name, which wasn't a secret (just not used), came to public attention when she worked a job at Martha's Vineyard.

The Obamas have tried to make sure their daughters get a relatively normal upbringing, despite the obvious impossibility of that.

Malia was an intern on the set of "Girls" and is going to Harvard in fall 2017. Of course, counterproductively, Sasha had to go to work in Martha's Vineyard each morning with a full secret service detail. And, while there, the 15-year old used her given name, Natasha, on her name tag.

Since then, people on Twitter have been expressing their extreme surprise.

I had no clue that Sasha Obama real names is Natasha, I thought it was Sasha — BreneishaMariah (@BreneishaMariah) August 19, 2016

A lot of folks seem to feel like this is a revelation on the scale of the Earth revolving around the sun.

I didn't know that Sasha Obama's real name is Natasha. — jesmelia (@supastahh) August 11, 2016

Sadly, they are not expressing this disbelief very creatively.

There are literally hundreds of tweets exactly like this.

I'm beginning to understand why Sasha didn't make a big deal about this. When you're the daughter of the most powerful man on the planet (apart from Paul Rudd, obviously), Twitter reels if you walk down the street, let alone let them know your name is not really your name.

I guess now is a good time to reveal my name isn't actually Alec. Yeah, I know, considering my staggering popularity, all of the internet must feel extremely betrayed.

My real name is... Ash Ketchum (no relation).