I Went On Tinder In Iowa And Asked Boys To Tell Me About Their Caucus
That's all fine and well, but we have to be real here: The word "caucus" is hilarious and ripe for turning into pick-up lines and innuendos.
So, after swearing the app off a year and a half ago, I re-downloaded Tinder and built my Iowa bio, telling boys, "talk to me about your caucus."
The boys did not disappoint.
This guy really had the jokes down.
Actual caucuses can go on for hours (there is no way not to make that sound dirty), so there were a lot of jokes about length.
Iowa caucuses are considered a pretty big deal, whether they actually are or not.
I guess when you've got a reporter on the line you might as well ask the important questions.
My response, for the record: "If you think like that, and then other people who think like you think like that, then there's a whole block of votes that aren't going to be represented. And then, we're all just stuck with whoever the old dudes pick."
Not sure if I want to feel that Bern...
My sad attempts at caucus innuendos did not go well.
You didn't really try.
Aaaaand there we are, back on Tinder.
"Bitches always come back for the caucus."
Thank you, men of Iowa, for putting up with my obnoxiousness over the last week and providing laughs.
I'm sure all your caucuses are huge deals that last for hours, making people scream and leaving many satisfied.