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5 WTF Reasons Texas Is Quickly Becoming The New Florida

by Rayne Ellis
REUTERS

From teenage face-eaters, to golden tickets to heaven, Florida has some of the strangest headlines in the country.

I guess hot weather can make people do crazy things?

This could be the reason why Texas, another state that frequents 90-degree weather and above, is on the way to topping Florida in the weirdness category.

"Keep Austin Weird" was not supposed to be taken literally, yet here we are.

Here are five things we should be paying attention to in the Lone Star state right now:

1. The attorney general is on trial.

According to National Association of Attorney Generals, the state attorney general's primary duty is to "serve as counselors to their legislatures and state agencies and also as the 'People's Lawyer' for all citizens."

And yet Texas' attorney general, Ken Paxton, is on trial for not one but TWO counts of securities fraud, and is accused of "duping people into an investment scheme." If convicted, Paxton is looking at up to 99 years in jail.

You had one job Ken.

2. The 'Bathroom Bill' situation.

Yep that's right. There is another one.

Just like North Carolina's controversial House Bill 2, Texas has decided to go the same route. The bill would restrict transgender people from using the restroom that aligns with their gender identity, and force them to use whatever bathroom their birth certificate suggests.

Senate Bill 6 would require transgender people to use bathrooms based on their "biological sex" in public schools, government buildings and public universities. This would be overruling any of the local ordinances that allow transgender people to use bathrooms based on their gender identities.

The backlash has been incredible, with over 140 artists signing a letter condemning the bill and the NFL threatening to boycott Texas.

I thought Texas meant friend?

3. Texas Gov. Greg Abbott's response to the bill.

The governor of Texas has been a very busy man.

Just recently, he endorsed Donald Trump's unconstitutional Muslim ban. He then took to Fox to let the NFL know that it was "walking on thin ice" by getting into politics.

Ugh, Texas why???

4. Fetal Burial Law

Alexandra Svokos

In December of last year, Texas lawmakers against abortion tried to pass a bill that would require hospitals and abortion clinics to bury or cremate fetal remains.

Each cremation or burial would cost about $500 to $700 dollars, according to an estimate from an NBC affiliate. Those against this bill argue that it does not come with any benefits, only at a great cost to the healthcare provider.

Texas has long been a majority conservative state and has introduced many anti-choice bills in the past, so this news isn't terribly surprising.

But then Texas went and did this...

Call me crazy, but this completely delegitimizes the state's argument about caring for the lives of the unborn.

5. Deez Nuts and Harambe polled higher than Jill Stein.

YouTube

Yes, this is a real headline.

A couple of months before the election, a survey done by the Public Policy Polling group showed that the teenage internet troll Brad C. Olson, nicknamed "Deez Nuts," and Harambe, the dead gorilla from the Cincinnati Zoo, were ahead of Jill Stein in the polls.

Texas is a traditionally red state, and in November the state did in fact elect Donald Trump, but just a couple months before, the people literally wanted a president of a different species.

And even though a man in Florida was just arrested for trying to bomb a target to tank their stocks, it's safe to say that Texas is on its way to becoming the source of America's craziest headlines.