There's Officially A New Dog Breed And You're Going To Fall In Love With It

Dogs. The fanged creatures that used to kill and eat our ancestors in the woods and whose anal waste we now politely collect and dispose of each day. They are our species' sidekicks, our loyal companions, the real life embodiment of Pokémon — except only some of us force them to fight.

We've bred dogs into more variations than, um, something with a lot of variations. Frozen yogurt topping combinations? I don't know. It's Monday. My metaphor game is still in first gear. (<-- Metaphor!)

Now, there's a new kid on the block. The American Kennel Club has officially recognized the 190th breed of dog.

And this new dog breed is called a "pumi."

Now, if "pumi" doesn't sound like a Pokémon name to you, then you don't know what Pokémon names sound like. To be clear, they sound like "pumi" (evolved version: Pumutilator).

Pumis are originally Hungarian, and have been around for a while, but they've only just started to capture the American hearts and minds with their important faces and sad eyes.

They look like this.

And this.

And this.

Seriously, don't even know why I'm writing anything.

I know you're not going to read this.

Because when there is a pumi in front of you...

...you look at the pumi.

So go ahead, look at the pumi.

And this one.

And this one.

And these pumi puppies doing their best to give you a heart attack.

Because as long as you're looking at a pumi, life is good and the human race is not devouring itself!