Turns out flickin' the ol' bean and playing naked solo Wii tennis aren't sooo different after all.
Let's be honest, dudes are less living complete lives and more just accomplishing small things in between jerk off sessions. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just saying it's a fact.
Some of the world's greatest achievements took place in between J-Seshes. You know it, I know it, Einstein/Benjamin Franklin/whoever invented batteries knows it.
You want to tell me George Washington wasn't taking his genitals on an all-expenses paid trip to Poundville (population: 1. Him.) any time he had an empty Tuesday night between battles with the British? Please. That dude fought the battle of Porktown any chance he had.
Why is it always only dudes who get cited in talks like this, though? Women masturbate, too! I'm sure Marie Curie and Joan of Arc liked to journey DOWN'UNDA as much as William Taft and Chairman Mao.
The truth is there is a clear stigma when it comes to masturbation that guys just do it more. Nobody argues women don't masturbate at all, but everyone seems to just assume men simply spend more of their lives jerkin'.
But is that true? Science says kind of.
According to a recent survey published in the Journal of Sex Research involving 1,452 men and 1,566 women between the ages of 18 and 22, the vast majority of representatives from both genders admitted to frequently going buck wild on THEY DANG SELVES.
It turns out, 85.5 percent of women and 98.9 percent of men said they had masturbated before, with men starting at the average age of 12.5 and women exploring themselves at 13.7.
How the two genders masturbate is also pretty consistent. Almost 87 percent of women and around 95 percent of men said they fantasized while masturbating, with 97.6 percent of men and 81.6 percent of women claiming they had orgasmed during the act. (Lord knows what happens to the other respective 2.4 percent and 18.4 percent. They probably go on to get law degrees or become Elon Musk or something.)
One other notable find from the study was only 8 percent of women said they used sex toys when being at one with the bottom half of themselves. Men said they used toys 1.4 percent of the time.