Oi, Americans! I know you couldn't give two pence about the EU referendum and that Brexit campaign, but what if I told you it could change your way of life?
Yeah. Got your attention now, haven't I?
Put down your Starbucks coffee (why are so many of you still drinking that over here, BTW?) and listen up. Here are five ways Britain leaving the EU could affect you -- beyond that whole "Game of Thrones" debacle.
Holidays would be cheap
The good news for you guys (and the terrible news for me) is the exchange rate hasn't been this obscene for a long time. It's around $1.48 for one of my English pounds. That's fallen 8 percent from a year ago. I moved to New York a week ago and a seasoned traveler friend told me he's never known a worse time to live in the States as a Brit financially. Awesome.
The thing is, if Britain leaves the EU, experts have forecasted the exchange rate to drop by another 10 percent. So, happy holidays.
There is one things to bear in mind though...
Wine would be spenny
You may be all smug when you arrive for dinner in Covent Garden having bagged your holiday for awesome value. But wait until you read the wine list. Because if Britain ditches the EU, our precious vino will get way more expensive.
All imported commodities will suffer price-wise as a result, but this is by far the most single threat to our way of life.
Rowan Gormley, chief executive of UK wine firm Majestic Wine, said, "If a Brexit does happen and that results in the sustained fall in value of the pound, all imported products will have to go up in cost over time and wine will be no exception to that."
You might need to move
Mortgage rates have dropped dramatically in the past year. It's down from more than 4 percent to 3.54 percent now, according to housing giant Freddie Mac.
On Wednesday, the Federal Reserve left its interest rate unchanged -- citing uncertainty over Britain's future as a factor.
The decision to leave the EU could darken the US economic outlook, warned Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen. So the Fed didn't want to make any rash decisions.
She said, "Without a doubt, in the last several months a number of different metrics suggest... a loss of momentum in terms of the pace of improvement. We believe that will turn around, we expect it to turn around, but we are taking a cautious approach and watching very carefully to make sure that that expectation is borne out before we proceed to raise interest rates further."
Old age could be rough
Think this will all blow over by next week? HA. Think again. The financial implications could last way into your retirement.
It could be bad news if you put into a 401k. It's fiercely exposed to the fragility of the global economic market, which is already reacting to the reality of Brexit.
Obviously it's affecting the London stock market the most right now. But the real danger of Brexit is that it sparks a chain reaction of fear on Wall Street, which slashes investors' confidence.
And most importantly...it could sour a sacred relationship
Obama's basically been like that popular kid at school who uninvites you to his birthday party.
We're the States' seventh-largest trade partner, and the continuation of that will rely on whether the president signs a deal with the UK or the EU.
If Brexit was to happen, Obama's already said "maybe some point down the line, there might be a UK-US trade agreement, but it's not going to happen anytime soon." He added that we'd be at the "back of the queue." Bully.
To compound that, he said such a deal could take up to 10 years.
The last thing we need is a big old rift down the Atlantic. No one wants that, especially me. I love you guys.