Have you seen Shane-Andrew Thompson?
Because if you have, it doesn't matter. He's not missing.
Well, for starters, he has the most Anglo-Saxon name since Alexander Englishman.
(LOL, you haven't heard of Alexander Englishman? Read a book, dummy. Also, I made him up, sorry for calling you a dummy.)
But Shane-Andrew Thompson was also reported missing on Saturday -- except he was actually the opposite of that.
He posted on his own missing person police bulletin on Facebook with a very pissed off rant.
He insisted he's not missing at all and people need to stop saying he is -- or else.
The bulletin went as follows:
All of that would be very sad and troubling if he was actually missing, but as we now know, he's not.
He posted the comment below directly to the Facebook post, accusing people of "playin games."
Now, he doesn't make the most sense in this, but you get the idea.
Police have declined to comment on the case, but say they are aware of Thompson's comment on their post.
It's unclear whether or not there was a legitimate need to worry in the first place -- Thompson does have a tracheotomy in his throat, which is troubling.
Either way, let's just say the police had a very easy day at work solving this case.