A LiveLeak video of an Australian man having a 5-foot-long tapeworm pulled out of his nose by a doctor has gone viral because we all love watching disgusting things (I suspect they help us cope with a disgusting, brutal world).
For reference, the Olsen twins are 5 feet tall.
The tapeworm was as long as an Olsen twin.
As the tapeworm is removed from the man's nose with a pair of scissors, he grunts in pain, muttering, "It's so uncomfortable" -- the understatement of the century.
New boots are "uncomfortable." Making small talk with your cousin Ralph at your great-grandmother's wake is "uncomfortable."
Getting a tapeworm the size of Nicki Minaj pulled out of your nose is something else.
A tapeworm living in a person's nose is extremely rare, but apparently, this one grew so large, it ran out of room elsewhere.
People usually contract tapeworms from eating undercooked meat of infected animals.
Often people with tapeworms suffer few symptoms (after all, the tapeworm, once it has a safe place to live and a steady supply of food, wants to stay there).
But common symptoms are loss of weight and malnutrition -- since, you know, you have a parasite eating all your food -- along with diarrhea, which we all ignore anyway because burgers are better than liquid shit is bad.
Because the symptoms present slowly and mildly at first, the tapeworm can grow to shocking and grotesque lengths without its host -- the human -- noticing.
Eventually, however, tapeworm infections can grow so much, they put the host's life in danger.
But, you know what? I think we should really be thinking about how the tapeworm feels.
Look, here this tapeworm is, recently moved into an affordable and spacious gastrointestinal tract, having JUST finished organizing its space (so it's both minimalist and warm) and putting together several pieces of IKEA furniture (paying careful attention to the instructions so they won't wobble), and suddenly, it is violently evicted.
There are two sides to every story -- like "Rashomon" but with stomach parasites.
("Rashomon" is a movie about there being two or more sides to every story, guys. It's OK if you don't know that; not everyone is perfect. But watch it. It's good. Amen.)